Listen closely when your kiddo tell you their dreams. Just puke on them when they laugh. — Green Monk Dreams Copy Share Image
I have just Kidnapped myself …..Give me One Million dollars or you will never see me again! — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
My Wife & me are either going to buy a dog or have a child. Actually we can't decide whether to ruin… — Green Monk Children Copy Share Image
That awkard moment ,while a lunch with important people,Suddenly,you drop coke on your new clothes -.- — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Average women believe they need a man to feel wanted & loved. Real women are very desired, have self-love, & do just… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I typed married but it was auto-corrected to martyred. Damn,smartphone has gained intelligence. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
“If a girl admits that she likes you, know that it took her every ounce of courage she has, don't take it… — Green Monk Courage Copy Share Image
It takes about 35 years for a woman to reach their sexual peak. For a man it takes about 5 to 10 mins — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Behind every great man is a great woman telling him he's not as great as he thinks he is… — Green Monk Behind every great man Copy Share Image
Break ups arent always meant for make ups. Sometimes relationships are ended for you to wake up. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Girl I'm not hitting on you. I have a solid reputation for not trying to pick up girls who are sober. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I wish my girlfriend would blow me as much as she blows little things out of proportion. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When life stresses you out, eat a carrot. It won't make your life any better, but at least you're helping out the… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You may love a girl very deeply... But u CANNOT express it more deeper than... 5, 6 or 7 inches... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Guys, if she just wants to be friends then borrow $250 from her & never pay her back. Like a real friend would. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
There are 2 reasons I haven't killed you. I don't know what to do with the body and I'm the most likely… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I love when I wake up in the middle of the night and realize I have so much more time to sleep! — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I always put a crouton on my ice cream sundaes instead of a cherry. That way, it counts as a salad! — Green Monk Food Copy Share Image
When the library book-drop overflows and volumes spill onto the wet grass, the books are over dew. — Green Monk Books Copy Share Image
Sex is like pizza; if you're gonna use BBQ sauce, you'd better know what you're doing! — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
When someone says they love you don't just take their word for it, it'll be written all over the way they're treating… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Twitter is like a maximum security prison. There are the tough guys, crazy ones, odd ones & an idiot who tried to… — Green Monk Cybersecurity Copy Share Image
When choosing a girl to date, don't go with your gut feeling. Go with your nut feeling. That'll lead to some butt… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Scientists have found that women share the same dna as prawns.. Their heads are full of shit but their pink bits taste… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end the faster it goes. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
'what do I do when I see someone gorgeous ? I stare, I smile, & when I get tired, I just put… — Green Monk Beauty Copy Share Image
How can you tell if a woman is paranoid? You find her vibrator -- and it's wearing a condom! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My wife is angry with me and she is giving me the Silent Treatment. I don't know what I did, but I… — Green Monk Angry Copy Share Image
I'm truly convinced that much of the trouble that some people have today: they stop to think, but forget to start the… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
If you hire two lawyers, does that mean that both lawyers could be replaced by one paralegal? — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
People get so defensive and immediately start denying it if you dare accuse them of snoring. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I can read Spanish, German, Italian, and French¦ as long as its written in English :] — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
The first step in going somewhere is deciding you are not going to stay where you are. — Green Monk First step Copy Share Image
Ladies, if you're ugly get a bunch of tattoos. They're hot and it'll distract guys from your fucked up face. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
So... I was reading this Fascinating study. It shows that Men think about sex every tits seconds. — Green Monk Education Copy Share Image
You don't know this but the regret you feel after doing something is your body's way of saying you should definitely do… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Tell your girlfriend how much you love her out of the blue one day. I bet she'll love it. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
A real relationship has: fights, trust, faith, tears, pain, arguement, patience, secrets, jealousy, and love.Â¥ — Green Monk Faith Copy Share Image
Its very easy to hurt someone & say sorry but its really difficult to get hurt & say Its Ok — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Happiness is defined as opening your refrigerator to find your mother-in-law's picture on the milk carton. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
![“I can read Spanish, German, Italian, and French¦ as long as its written in English :]” quote by Green Monk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b49/green-monk-388_funny_i-can-read-spanish-german-italian-and-fr_482891.jpg)
