Best David Sedaris Thoughts
- The message was that if something is free, you should only take the best. If, on the other hand, you're forced to pay, it's best… Bar
- Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have left to hold onto. All
- Up close the city constitutes an oppressive series of staircases, but from a distance it inspires fantasies of wealth and power so profound that even… Cities
- High school taught me a valuable lesson about glasses: Don't wear them. Contacts have always seemed like too much work, so instead I just squint,… Always Seemed
- It's safe to assume that by 2085 guns will be sold in vending machines but you won't be able to smoke anywhere in America. Able
- He looked as though his life had not only passed him by but paused along the way to spit in his face. Along
- I giggled out loud at his stupidity. If anyone knew how to make a bed, it was a faggot. Anyone
- Watching him was like opening the door to a siniging telegram; you know it's supposed to be entertaining, but you can't get beyond the sad… Actually Thinks
- Right, I breast feed baby camels in my backyard just for the freaking fun of it. Just tell me where you live, Pinocchio, and save… Baby
- I've always had a way with the little people, making it a point to humor them without looking down my nose at their wasted empty… Down
- It make one's mouth hurt to speak with such forced merriment. Forced
- When her muzzle grew more white than brown, the chipmunk forgot that she and the squirrel had had nothing to talk about. She forgot the… Appreciate
- College is the best thing that can ever happen to you," my father used to say, and he was right, for it was there that… Best
- Oh, for Christ's sake,' I hear. 'Can we please just try to have a good time?' This is like ordering someone to find you attractive,… Attractive
- Living in a foreign country is one of those things that everyone should try at least once. My understanding was that it completed a person,… Abroad
- Given enough time, I guess anything can look good. All it has to do is survive. All
- There’s a lot I don’t tell my father when he calls asking after Amy. He wouldn’t understand that she has no interest in getting married… Amy
- They're hungry for something they know nothing about, but we, we know all too well that the price of fame is the loss of privacy. All
- Like anyone nostalgic for a time he didn't live through, I chose to weed out the little inconveniences: polio, say, or the thought of eating… Anyone
- Standing in a two-hour line makes people worry that they're not living in a democratic nation. People stand in line for two houres and they… Democratic
- Such movies are always a danger...falling in love is something most adults have actually experienced...The theme is universal and encourages...unhealthy comparisons...why can't our lives be… Actually Experienced
- My sister's the type who religiously watches the fear segments of her local Eyewitness News broadcasts, retaining nothing but the headline...Everything is dangerous all of… All
- This was the consequence of seeing too much and understanding the horrible truth: No one is safe. The world is not manageable. Consequence
- I'd always thought that I understood this, but lately I realize that what I call "understanding" is basically just fantasizing. Always Thought
- As bad a dresser as I am, anything beats being judged by my character. Anything Beats
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