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More Quotes by David Sedaris
- My conscience is crosswired with my sweat glands, but there's a short in the system and I break out over things I didn't do, which…
- My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining.
- Do I exaggerate? Boy, do I, and I'd do it more if I could get away with it.
- This is hurting me a lot more than it’s hurting you," he said. It was his standard line, but I knew that this time he…
- After the trial, I watched as another female pathologist collected maggots from a spinal column found in the desert. There was a decomposed head, too,…
- I won't put in a load of laundry, because the machine is too loud and would drown out other, more significant noises - namely, the…
- Its funny how certain objects convey a message -- my washer and dryer, for example. They can't speak, of course, but whenever I pass them…
- My feet are completely flat, but for most of my life they were still shaped like feet. Now, thanks to bunions, they're shaped more like…
- The trouble with aggressive nonsmokers is that they feel they are doing you a favor by not allowing you to smoke. They seem to think…
- A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things to look at.
- Hugh consoled me, saying, "Don't let it get to you. There are plenty of things you're good at." When asked for some examples, he listed…
- High school taught me a valuable lesson about glasses: Don't wear them. Contacts have always seemed like too much work, so instead I just squint,…
- When her muzzle grew more white than brown, the chipmunk forgot that she and the squirrel had had nothing to talk about. She forgot the…
- Like anyone nostalgic for a time he didn't live through, I chose to weed out the little inconveniences: polio, say, or the thought of eating…
- She's afraid to tell me anything important, knowing I'll only turn around and write about it. In my mind, I'm like a friendly junkman, building…
- In New York I'd go to the movies three or four times a week. Here I've upped it to six or seven, mainly because I'm…
- I don't think my life is more interesting than anybody else's.
More More Quotes
- I'm hoping someday that some kid, black or white, will hit more home runs than myself. Whoever it is, I'd be pulling… — Hank Aaron
- The more dubious and uncertain an instrument violence has become in international relations, the more it has gained in reputation and appeal… — Hannah Arendt
- No punishment has ever possessed enough power of deterrence to prevent the commission of crimes. On the contrary, whatever the punishment, once… — Hannah Arendt
- I believe more in precision, when you have the capability, like when you see a mosquito fly and you're able to hit… — Alexis Arguello
- As a kid, 'Star Wars' was much more my thing than 'Star Trek' was. — J. J. Abrams
- I believe in anything that will engage the audience and make the story more effective. — J. J. Abrams
- Those who educate children well are more to be honored than they who produce them; for these only gave them life, those… — Aristotle
- All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire. — Aristotle
- Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. — Aristotle
- In a democracy the poor will have more power than the rich, because there are more of them, and the will of… — Aristotle
- Poetry is finer and more philosophical than history; for poetry expresses the universal, and history only the particular. — Aristotle
- The whole is more than the sum of its parts. — Aristotle