Best David Sedaris Words
- Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings Amounts
- ..she took pictures of germs, viruses, and people reacting to germs and viruses. On weekends, for extra money, she photographed weddings, which really wasn't that… Extra
- At first, writing for The New Yorker was very scary to me. I couldn't imagine anything that I would write in that typeface. First Writing
- The drama bug strikes hardest with Jews, homosexuals and plump women who wear their hair in bangs. These are people who, for one reason or… Another Desperately
- Often I'd take out my magnifying glass and stare into the chaos that was her face. Chaos
- Its funny how certain objects convey a message -- my washer and dryer, for example. They can't speak, of course, but whenever I pass them… Bathroom
- I hated leaving a hole in the smoking world, and so I recruited someone to take my place. People have given me a lot of… Anyway Especially
- I needed to temper (my dad's) enthusiasm a bit (about attending Princeton), and so I announced that I would be majoring in patricide...My mom was… Announced
- It is funny the things that run through your mind when you're sitting in your underpants in front of a pair of strangers. Front
- Most people would have found it grotesque, but when you're in love nothing is so abstract or horrible that it can't be thought of as… Abstract
- The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin "Tubby" Matchwell, the eleven-year-old porker who tackled the role of Santa with… All
- The woman in charge of costuming assigned us our outfits and gave us a lecture on keeping things clean. She held up a calendar and… Assigned
- The Greeks had invented democracy, built the Acropolis and called it a day. Acropolis
- ...clatter of a typwriter suggests that you're actually building something. Actually Building
- I hate you' she said to me one afternoon. 'I really, really hate you.' Call me sensitive, but I couldn't help but take it personally. Afternoon
- Einstein wrote that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. That said, is it crazier to repeatedly throw… Believe
- Snowball just leads elves on, elves and Santas. He is playing a dangerous game. Dangerous
- My first semester I had only nine students. Hoping they might view me as professional and well prepared, I arrived bearing name tags fashioned in… Arrived
- I see you that have a little swimming mouse Inspirational
- There seemed to be some correlation between devotion to God and a misguided zeal for marshmallows. Correlation
- You can't brace yourself for famine if you've never known hunger. Brace
- Weird doors open. People fall into things. Doors
- He die one day, and then he go above of my head to live with your father." He weared the long hair, and after he… Come Back
- I'd tried to straighten him out, but there's only so much you can do for a person who thinks Auschwitz is a brand of beer. Auschwitz
- Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character. All
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