"The woman in charge of costuming assigned us……" — David Sedaris

The woman in charge of costuming assigned us our outfits and gave… - David Sedaris

"The woman in charge of costuming assigned us our outfits and gave us a lecture on keeping things clean. She held up a calendar and said, "Ladies, you know what this is. Use it. I have scraped enough blood out from the crotches of elf knickers to last me the rest of my life. And don't tell me, 'I don't wear underpants, I'm a dancer.' You're not a dancer. If you were a real dancer you wouldn't be here. You're an elf and you're going to wear panties like an elf."

— David Sedaris

Assigned Quotes Assigned Us Quotes Blood Quotes Calendar Quotes Calendars Quotes Charge Quotes Clean Quotes Costuming Quotes Crotches Quotes Dancer Quotes Dancer You Quotes Elf Quotes Enough Quotes Enough Blood Quotes From Quotes Gave Quotes Gave Us Quotes Going Quotes Held Quotes Keeping Quotes Keeping Things Quotes Knickers Quotes Know Quotes Ladies Quotes Ladies You Quotes Last Quotes Lasts Quotes Lecture Quotes Lectures Quotes Life Quotes Me Quotes My Life Quotes Our Outfits Quotes Out Quotes Outfits Quotes Panties Quotes Real Quotes Real Dancer Quotes Rest Quotes Said Quotes Said Ladies Quotes Scraped Quotes She Held Quotes Tell Quotes Tell Me Quotes Things Quotes Underpants Quotes Up Quotes Us Quotes Use Quotes Wear Quotes Wear Panties Quotes Woman Quotes You Know Quotes

221 Quotes by David Sedaris

David Sedaris has 221 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

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More Assigned Quotes

This quote is filed under Assigned Quotes, one of 215 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

I was assigned to the heavy cruiser Chicago. — Jack Adams
Because thought has by now been perverted into the solving of assigned problems, even what is not assigned is processed… — Theodor Adorno
The Communist regime didn't consider this to be a shining moment in history and assigned no heroism to it. They… — Kathryn Bigelow
As you get older it's more confusing. Suddenly, there's more pressure to fit in to your assigned gender. — Chaz Bono
The case of the Seminoles constitutes at present the only exception to the successful efforts of the Government to remove… — Martin Van Buren
I was the first Navy, Marine or Air Force person who had been an astronaut to return back to the… — Buzz Aldrin
My main point here is that if you are the child of God and God is a part of you,… — John Henrik Clarke
Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote. The relative positions to be assumed by man and woman in… — Grover Cleveland
Mark how fleeting and paltry is the estate of man-yesterday in embryo, tomorrow a mummy or ashes. So for the… — Marcus Aurelius
That Americans are entitled to freedom is incontestable on every rational principle. All men have one common original: they participate… — Alexander Hamilton
When the general is weak and without authority; when his orders are not clear and distinct; when there are no… — Sun Tzu
You are very fortunate to be assigned to duty at Fortress Monroe on Chesapeake Bay; it is just the season… — Winfield Scott

See all 215 Assigned Quotes »