“Do me a favor, Oz?" "Sure?" "Don't ask them about ass-sex when they answer the phone. Marta feels guilty when you have… — Dani Alexander Friendship Copy Share Image
“You are not welcome here." "You said that the first time you kicked me out. [...] Then [...] I thought to myself,… — Dani Alexander First time Copy Share Image
“Out of curiosity, when do I grow up and become a fullfledged man with a penis?” “When words like ‘hump day’ don’t… — Dani Alexander Blowing smoke Copy Share Image
“He's painting your living room as a thank you." "Huh. My decorator might screech, but I'm okay with that." "Your decorator? Seriously?… — Dani Alexander Life Copy Share Image
“People aren't always who they seem, Detective. Am I anything like you thought?" "No," I admitted. You're a million times better than… — Dani Alexander Expectations Copy Share Image
“Let me assure you, you are an ass in the best sense of the word. You don't take shit from people.” — Dani Alexander Copy Share Image
“I looked at our hands, caked and coated in red, but entwined. The pristine moment when they were clasped like that earlier… — Dani Alexander Water Bottle Copy Share Image
“When Peter said he was romantic, it was in the way that I was romantic. A blow job and an “I love… — Dani Alexander Blow job Copy Share Image
“Risking career over paying a hustler for not having sex with you. Brilliant, Austin. You fail at prostitution.” — Dani Alexander Having sex Copy Share Image
“Then I guess the rest of my life will be resigned to doggy style sex." The words were out of my mouth… — Dani Alexander Crude-humor Copy Share Image
“What the fuck are you doing with your life?” “Dating hookers, learning the gay, housing criminals, pissing off my fellow cops, and… — Dani Alexander Alien life Copy Share Image
“Hard-ons don't make you think less. They make you think stupid.” — Dani Alexander Funny Copy Share Image
“Let me know when you're done with this conversation. Peter needs his tongue bath. I mean sponge bath.” — Dani Alexander Communication Copy Share Image
“Is he my competition?” I asked. “Everyone is your competition.” Peter lifted his hand to his eyes and began lowering it incrementally.… — Dani Alexander Copy Share Image
“Whiskey, glass, pour, toss back, glare. Repeat. “Cop out,” I slurred in retaliation, pointing the empty glass at Peter. “Don’t get drunk.… — Dani Alexander Glbt Copy Share Image
“Do you know what I did to the last guy that called me Tinkerbelle?" "Slept with him?" Darryl was silent for a… — Dani Alexander Dani-alexander Copy Share Image
“Do you know any gay guys?" "Why? Are you switching teams?" "I'm not sure. Maybe." "Yeah, I know some gay guys. And… — Dani Alexander Sleeping together Copy Share Image
“At some point all of this is going to catch up with me,” I said. “What is?” “Gay, boyfriend, job loss, career… — Dani Alexander Dani-alexander Copy Share Image
“I had one friend with same-sex orientation, and Dana hadn't spoken to me since I asked her to describe her honeymoon in… — Dani Alexander Comedy Copy Share Image
“What I knew, beyond a doubt, was that if I continued to deny who I was, I'd end up with my service… — Dani Alexander Last time Copy Share Image
“You're rich, spoiled and used to getting your own way." "Not true. If I had my own way you would have kissed… — Dani Alexander Copy Share Image
“I was not insecure. I was a perfectly normal combination of arrogant and narcissistic.” — Dani Alexander Copy Share Image
