It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs. — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
You were supposed to empathize with your friend's problem, but they were, after all, your friend's problems... — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
The reason I'm writing funny books is that I wish there were more. — Christopher Moore Books Copy Share Image
“I'm fucked. We're fucked. Together. Like Romeo and Juliet, only we get to be in a sequel.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
You don't hurry a thinker, and you don't talk to him when he's thinking. It's just inconsiderate. — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“On the radio, turned low, Reba sang of hard times with the full authority of a cross-eyed redheaded millionaire.” — Christopher Moore Country Copy Share Image
“No. Trust me, you have to leave me now so you won't later. I'll see you again.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“And then I see that the old vampyre is charred like Wile E. Coyote after a bad rocket shoes test.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Jody screamed at him: a high, explosive, unintelligible expulsion of pure inhuman frustration--a Hendrix high note sampled and sung by a billion… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Is she special? (asks the gay waiter)" I thinks she's going to break my heart" On arrival of the girl" The flannel… — Christopher Moore Funny Copy Share Image
“We can build cities for the Romans.” “Actually, I was thinking about saving mankind.” “Forget that nonsense, Josh. Rocks, I tell you.” — Christopher Moore Romans Copy Share Image
In fact, he sorely hoped that it would happen, because otherwise, the world made no sense, there was no justice, and life… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
You know, there's a 12 step program for gambling. You should look into that. Twelve steps. Coyote laughed. I'll bet I can… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
It turns out that one can perpetrate all manner of heinous villainy under a cloak of courtesy and good cheer. . .a… — Christopher Moore Ale Copy Share Image
So hey, once Joshua heals your brother, you want to go do something, get some pomegranate juice, a falafel,or get married or… — Christopher Moore Brother Copy Share Image
Even a mentally challenged shark would figure out that sea turtles did not wear boxer shorts printed in flying piggies, and no… — Christopher Moore Boxers Copy Share Image
“Being a shepherd seems easy. I went with Kaliel last week to tend his flock. The Law says that two must go… — Christopher Moore Lion Copy Share Image
...then he looked at my T-shirt and saw Byron's picture on it and he quoted "She Walks in Beauty," which is like… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Being a shepherd seems easy. I went with Kaliel last week to tend his flock. The Law says that two must go… — Christopher Moore Lion Copy Share Image
“Joshua, my memory of Maggie isn't about what happened the night before we left. I didn't go to see her thinking that… — Christopher Moore Love Copy Share Image
Mr. Fresh looked up. "The book says if we don't do our jobs everything could go dark, become like the Underworld. I… — Christopher Moore Book Copy Share Image
Tommy moved on. "Lash, your people have been oppressed for hundreds of years. It's time to strike back. Look, you don't have… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Joshua and I tried to engage Joy in conversation several times during the journey to Kabul, but she was cranky and abrupt… — Christopher Moore Communication Copy Share Image
“Kayso, Foo finally came home and I jumped into his arms and sort of rode him to the ground with a massive… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Rivera rubbed his temples. "Satan told you to do it?" he said wearily. "No." "Elvis?" "I told you, it's supernatural.” — Christopher Moore Comedy-humor Copy Share Image
“Splendid,” said the Emperor, without a hint of sarcasm. “I believe we’ve achieved a new level of doomed.” Y” — Christopher Moore Emperor Copy Share Image
“Abençoados sejam os submissos, pois a eles diremos "Lindos meninos".” — Christopher Moore Amor Copy Share Image
Ooo ahe-e, I aya oa a," she said in yawnspeak, a language - not unlike Hawaiian - known for its paucity of… — Christopher Moore Hawaiians Copy Share Image
Most of us don't live our lives with one, integrated self that meets the world, we're a whole bunch of selves. — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Yeah, and don't think it's easy finding Ray-Bans in a fruit-bat medium.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“If you are going to learn, you need to forget what you know. - Pokey” — Christopher Moore Education Copy Share Image
“I tried cutting myself to express my heartbreak over Tommy (Lord Flood) rejecting me, but OMFG it hurts like flaming fuck.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
Sweetheart, wake up; you've destroyed the house and I need you to suffer for it. — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand anything about her species. — Christopher Moore Alien Copy Share Image
“Splendid. I believe we've achieved a whole new level of doomed.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
He invented Kung Fu when translated to English means method by which short, bald guys can kick the bejeezus out of you. — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
Like most Beta Males, he didn't realize that being a good guy was not necessarily an attraction to women. — Christopher Moore Attraction Copy Share Image
“You know what? You know what? You know what?' I was waving my finger under her nose. 'You scratched the Son of… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
I know that even now, having watched enough television, you probably won't even refer to them as lepers so as to spare… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
I'm thinking of being a professional mourner. How hard can it be? Tear at your hair, sing a dirge or two, take… — Christopher Moore Hair Copy Share Image
