“Astonishing, the level of complete bollocks a Venetian will buy for the promise of coin. Greed is a festering chancre on the… — Christopher Moore Greed Copy Share Image
“(Judah could never get the knack of being an adulteress. He’d stand there stiff as Lot’s wife. You can’t do that. An… — Christopher Moore Judah Copy Share Image
“Look, you mad tart, I have a covenant with God, which is: I don't mention that he has stocked the world full… — Christopher Moore Covenant Copy Share Image
Enchantment and seduction were fine means of persuasion, but when time is short, an awkward but quick concussion could better serve a… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
She knew it should bother her more, being evil and all, but after she put on a little mascara and some lipstick… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
One thing that's really delightful is my books tend to attract people who are funny, so I get the benefit of people… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
She pulled down the blanket and aimed baby Sophie's bottom at him like she might unleash a fusillade of weapons-grade poopage such… — Christopher Moore Baby Copy Share Image
. . . And so Charlie Asher . . . led an army of fourteen-inch-tall bundles of animal bits, armed with everything… — Christopher Moore Animal Copy Share Image
“When Charlie arrived home from his mother's funeral, he was met at the door by two very large very enthusiastic canines, who… — Christopher Moore Animal Copy Share Image
“They are between. Not what they used to be, and not what they have become. In those times, they are nothing. And… — Christopher Moore Friendship Copy Share Image
“Ten salespeople, all young, all dressed in generic cotton casual, looked up from their conversations, spotted the money in her hand, and… — Christopher Moore Life Copy Share Image
And I'll have you know that if you hurt my son again, if he so much as sighs sadly over his coffee,… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Theophilus Crowe wrote bad free-verse poetry and played a jimbai drum while sitting on a rock by the ocean. He could play… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
I've got to think that that was unethical," Joshua said. "Josh, faking demonic possession is like a mustard seed." "How is it… — Christopher Moore Demonic Copy Share Image
“Let me say right here, if I haven't made it clear, that I have seen as many pale, naked old-man parts in… — Christopher Moore Humor Copy Share Image
“The fool's number is zero, but that's because he represents the infinite possibility of all things. He may become anything. See, he… — Christopher Moore Fool Copy Share Image
“A gentleman can't even discuss fucking philosophy without you puritanical twats casting judgmental glances at his tackle d'amore.” — Christopher Moore Humor Copy Share Image
“FYI, when I type WTF, you are supposed to read What the Fuck? Same with OMG, and OMFG, which are Oh My… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“[Conservation] Barring that, just yell at people randomly to stop killing whales. It could catch on. Really. ("Would you like fries with… — Christopher Moore Christopher-moore Copy Share Image
“Foo shuddered. It had been less than an hour since the cops led Abby away and already he missed her like a… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
We really have to get going," Sam said. "Can we leave the car here and pick it up later?" The monk said,… — Christopher Moore Buddha nature Copy Share Image
“Sometimes, a man must muster all of his courage simply to sit still. How much humanity has been spoiled for the confusion… — Christopher Moore Courage Copy Share Image
“The Painting is not shit,' said Lucien. 'I know,' said Henri. 'That was just part of the subterfuge. I am of royal… — Christopher Moore Art Copy Share Image
I could stand on my head and flick the bean right there at the dinner table and my mom would be all,… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Yeah, that's right, Lash. Because I'm Chinese I have a deep-seated need to nosh house pets. Now why don't you let him… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
...as if someone had thrown a hand grenade into the middle of a teddy bear orgy and the only survivors had had… — Christopher Moore Bears Copy Share Image
“Not yet!" said she [Goneril], trying to roll me over and get back to smacking my bum. She honked my codpiece. You… — Christopher Moore Christopher-moore Copy Share Image
“The Emperor decided to make a proclamation to his troops about the importance of compassion in the face of the rising tide… — Christopher Moore Compassion Copy Share Image
He loved constantly, instantly, spontaneously, without thought or words. That's what he taught me. Love is not something you think about, it… — Christopher Moore Love Copy Share Image
There's a fine edge to new grief, it severs nerves, disconnects reality--there's mercy in a sharp blade. Only with time, as the… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
They want to be tied up, I tie them up. They want to be spanked, I spank them. They want to be… — Christopher Moore Baby Copy Share Image
“[in regards to the "Asian guy"] He was so cute - in that Final Fantasy Thirty-Seven way. What I'm saying is, the… — Christopher Moore Asian Copy Share Image
When I was writing 'You Suck,' in 2006, I constructed the diction of the book's narrator, perky Goth girl Abby Normal, from… — Christopher Moore Blog Copy Share Image
“Adeline had come to Christianity the same way she had come to sex and smoking:through peer pressure.Thinking about her six kids and… — Christopher Moore Christianity Copy Share Image
“In the East they taught us that all suffering comes from desire, and that rough beast would stalk me through my life,… — Christopher Moore Life Copy Share Image
Confucius is like the Torah, rules to follow. And Lao-Tzu is even more conservative, saying that if you do nothing you won't… — Christopher Moore Action Copy Share Image
“Life is messy. Would that every puzzle piece fell into place, every word was kind, every accident happy, but such is not… — Christopher Moore Life Copy Share Image
“you think anyone is sane you just don’t know enough about them. The key—and this is very relevant in our case—is to… — Christopher Moore Insanity Copy Share Image
The gourney, the big file drawers of the dead, the instruments of dissection - this sure looked like the morgues in the… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
What is your name?" asked Lear. Caius," said Kent. And whence do you hail?" From Bonking, sire." Well, yes, lad, as do… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
![“[Conservation] Barring that, just yell at people randomly to stop killing whales. It could catch on. Really. ("Would you like fries with that?" "Shut up and stop killing whales!" "Thank you. Drive through, please.")” quote by Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6e7/christopher-moore-353_christopher-moore_conservation-barring-that-just-yell-at-p_1478469.jpg)
![“Not yet!" said she [Goneril], trying to roll me over and get back to smacking my bum. She honked my codpiece. You honked my codpiece." Aye, give it up, fool." [...]” quote by Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d1b/christopher-moore-353_christopher-moore_not-yet-said-she-goneril-trying-to-roll_554564.png)
![“[in regards to the "Asian guy"] He was so cute - in that Final Fantasy Thirty-Seven way. What I'm saying is, the Sex Fu is strong with this one. --The Chronicles of Abby Normal” quote by Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6fb/christopher-moore-353_asian_in-regards-to-the-asian-guy-he-was-so-cu_3012867.png)
