Chris Voss

“In my negotiating course, I tell my students that empathy is “the ability to recognize the perspective of a counterpart, and the…

— Chris Voss

“Negotiation is not an act of battle; it’s a process of discovery. The goal is to uncover as much information as possible.…

— Chris Voss

“Mirrors work magic. Repeat the last three words (or the critical one to three words) of what someone has just said. We…

— Chris Voss

“In court, defense lawyers do this properly by mentioning everything their client is accused of, and all the weaknesses of their case,…

— Chris Voss

“Kahneman later codified his research in the 2011 bestseller Thinking, Fast and Slow.3 Man, he wrote, has two systems of thought: System…

— Chris Voss

“Ask someone, “What do you mean by that?” and you’re likely to incite irritation or defensiveness. A mirror, however, will get you…

— Chris Voss

“List the worst things that the other party could say about you and say them before the other person can. Performing an…

— Chris Voss

“The tool we developed is something I call the calibrated, or open-ended, question. What it does is remove aggression from conversations by…

— Chris Voss

“Most people in a negotiation are driven by fear or by the desire to avoid pain. Too few are driven by their…

— Chris Voss

“The reasons why a counterpart will not make an agreement with you are often more powerful than why they will make a…

— Chris Voss

“First, let’s talk a little human psychology. In basic terms, people’s emotions have two levels: the “presenting” behavior is the part above…

— Chris Voss

“Another simple rule is, when you are verbally assaulted, do not counterattack. Instead, disarm your counterpart by asking a calibrated question.”

— Chris Voss

“In any bare-knuckle bargaining session, the most vital principle to keep in mind is never to look at your counterpart as an…

— Chris Voss

“Politics aside, empathy is not about being nice or agreeing with the other side. It’s about understanding them. Empathy helps us learn…

— Chris Voss

“Sensing the potential donor’s growing frustration, and wanting to end on a positive note so that they might be able to meet…

— Chris Voss

“In my short stay I realized that without a deep understanding of human psychology, without the acceptance that we are all crazy,…

— Chris Voss

“I’m sorry, two copies?” she mirrored in response, remembering not only the DJ voice, but to deliver the mirror in an inquisitive…

— Chris Voss

“■    People who view negotiation as a battle of arguments become overwhelmed by the voices in their head. Negotiation is not an act…

— Chris Voss

“Though the intensity may differ from person to person, you can be sure that everyone you meet is driven by two primal…

— Chris Voss

“The fastest and most efficient means of establishing a quick working relationship is to acknowledge the negative and diffuse it.”

— Chris Voss

“That’s when I had my “Holy shit!” moment and realized that this is the technique I’d been waiting for. Instead of asking…

— Chris Voss

“Unbelief is the friction that keeps persuasion in check,” Dutton says. “Without it, there’d be no limits.” Giving your counterpart the illusion…

— Chris Voss

“if you can get the other side to drop their unbelief, you can slowly work them to your point of view on…

— Chris Voss

“Mnookin, predictably, started fumbling because the frame of the conversation had shifted from how I’d respond to the threat of my son’s…

— Chris Voss

“Labeling has a special advantage when your counterpart is tense. Exposing negative thoughts to daylight—“It looks like you don’t want to go…

— Chris Voss