All Ambrose Bierce Quotes
- Laughter--an interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features, and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious, and though intermittent, incurable. Accompanied
- DISOBEDIENCE, n. The silver lining to the cloud of servitude. Cloud
- Patriotism is as fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave, blind as a stone, and irrational as a headless hen. Blind
- Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch--as cunning is the wisdom… Balanced
- Fear has no brains; it is an idiot. The dismal witness that it bears and the cowardly counsel that it whispers are unrelated. Bears
- You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute. Every Minute
- It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when thrust into the affairs of others from which some physiologists have drawn… Affair
- Acquaintance: "A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when… Acquaintance
- optimism, n. The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong.… Acceptably
- diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country. Art
- Be as decent as you can. Don't believe without evidence. Treat things divine with marked respect — don't have anything to do with them. Do… Affection
- TRUTHFUL, adj. Dumb and illiterate. Dumb
- ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith. Armor
- GRAPESHOT, n. An argument which the future is preparing in answer to the demands of American Socialism. American
- Think twice before you speak to a friend in need Friend
- Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. The basic of logic is… Accordance
- Friendship: A ship big enough for two in fair weather, but only one in foul. Big
- HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket. Arm
- War: A by-product of the arts of peace. Art
- MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His… Animal
- Idiot - A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot's activity is… Action
- What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it. Asking
- When among the graves of thy fellows, walk with circumspection; thine own is open at thy feet. Among
- Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook. Conspiracy
- Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind. As the simple… Ache