All Ambrose Bierce Quotes
- Christian: One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows… Admirably
- Romance is the fiction that owes no allegiance to the God of things as they are. In the novel the writer's thought is tethered to… Allegiance
- Marriage is the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two. All
- Infidel: In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does. Believe
- Impiety, n.: Your irreverence toward my deity. Deity
- The future is that period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true, and our happiness is assured. Affairs
- Age: that period of life in which we compound for the vices that we still cherish by reviling those that we no longer have the… Age
- CUPID, n. The so-called god of love. This bastard creation of a barbarous fancy was no doubt inflicted upon mythology for the sins of its… Age
- YESTERDAY, n. The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age. But yesterday I should have thought me blest To stand… Adown
- YOUTH, n. The Period of Possibility, when Archimedes finds a fulcrum, Cassandra has a following and seven cities compete for the honor of endowing a… Age
- TAIL, n. The part of an animal's spine that has transcended its natural limitations to set up an independent existence in a world of its… Age
- ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear. In Virginia City, Nevada, he is called the Washoe Canary, in Dakota, the… Admitted
- CIRCUS, n. A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool. Acting
- DOG, n. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship. This Divine Being in some… Additional
- EPIGRAM, n. A short, sharp saying in prose or verse, frequently characterize by acidity or acerbity and sometimes by wisdom. Following are some of the… Acerbity
- ABDOMEN, n. The temple of the god Stomach, in whose worship, with sacrificial rights, all true men engage. From women this ancient faith commands but… Abdomen
- Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage Curable
- Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility. Corporate Interests
- Absurdity: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. Absurdity
- Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice. Adjective
- Bore: a person who talks when you wish him to listen. Bore
- A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. Behind
- A cat is a soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle. Automaton
- ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn. "Eat arsenic? Yes, all you get," Consenting, he… Affected
- Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of its economical application to some purposes is still… Already Proved