All Ambrose Bierce Quotes
- ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists. Dunces
- MAGNETISM, n. Something acting upon a magnet. The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated… Acting
- International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoldering one Arbitration
- Theology is a thing of unreason altogether, an edifice of assumptions and dreams, a superstructure without a substructure Altogether
- April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly. Added
- Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize. Aborigines
- Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. Coin
- Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness. Abstemiousness
- APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom. The flabby wine-skin of his brain Yields to some pathologic strain, And voids from its unstored abysm The driblet of an… Aphorism
- Noise: a stench in the ear. Ear
- No country is so wild and difficult but men will make it a theater of war. Country
- MUSTANG, n. An indocile horse of the western plains. In English society, the American wife of an English nobleman. American
- TENACITY, n. A certain quality of the human hand in its relation to the coin of the realm. It attains its highest development in the… Attains
- RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded. Accorded
- PICKANINNY, n. The young of the "Procyanthropos", or "Americanus dominans". It is small, black and charged with political fatalities. Americanus
- PANDEMONIUM, n. Literally, the Place of All the Demons. Most of them have escaped into politics and finance, and the place is now used as… All
- NOMINATE, v. To designate for the heaviest political assessment. To put forward a suitable person to incur the mudgobbling and deadcatting of the opposition. Assessment
- DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets. American
- ARENA, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record. Arena
- ADMINISTRATION, n. An ingenious abstraction in politics, designed to receive the kicks and cuffs due to the premier or president. A man of straw, proof… Abstraction
- PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics. American
- PLEBEIAN, n. An ancient Roman who in the blood of his country stained nothing but his hands. Distinguished from the Patrician, who was a saturated… Ancient
- EXILE, n. One who serves his country by residing abroad, yet is not an ambassador. Abroad
- The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors. Body
- Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity. Deities