All Ambrose Bierce Quotes
- An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws. Accident
- Backbite: To ''speak of a man as you find him'' when he can't find you. Backbite
- Appetite, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question. Appetite
- Behavior, n. Conduct, as determined, not by principle, but by breeding. Behavior
- Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling. Burden
- Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey. Despot
- A bad workman quarrels with the man who calls him that. Bad
- Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin. Accordion
- For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His enemies have only to find it. Enemies
- Intolerance is natural and logical, for in every dissenting opinion lies an assumption of superior wisdom. Assumption
- Respectability, n. The offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account. Account
- Loquacity, n. A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk. Curb
- A penny saved is a penny to squander. Inspirational
- Road, n. A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to… Along
- Miss, n. A title which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Brand
- Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Romans the censor was an inspector of public morals,… Among
- As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to… Admissible
- Scribbler, n. A professional writer whose views are antagonistic to one's own. Antagonistic
- MARTYR, One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death. Along
- LUMINARY, One who throws light upon a subject; as an editor by not writing about it. Editor
- TAKE, v.t. To acquire, frequently by force but preferably by stealth. Acquire
- POLICE, n. An armed force for protection and participation. Armed
- If you want to read a perfect book there is only one way: write it. Book
- VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions. Abstentions
- Empty wine bottles have a bad opinion of women. Bad