Quote by Andy Borowitz Download Open image ““artisanal way — I'm given a hospital room,”” — Andy Borowitz ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.7 out of 5 (9 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“I'm not good with hospitals. The endless buildings, trees dotted around like apologies, and inside, it's job functions you can't understand and that air… — Harry Bingham Copy Share Image
“…I wonder what actually this hospital is, why I am in it and who I am. I have no time to find out. I… — Alexandar Tomov Copy Share Image
“As I sit down in the chair closest to the entrance, my eyes scan the few people seated in the area. I’m quickly reminded… — Adam Kunz Copy Share Image
“I practically strutted as dad walked me into what looked like the hospital’s rear entrance. That didn’t fool me. All entrances to a hospital… — Richard Roberts Copy Share Image
“One patient got up and used his wound care supplies to tape his hospital door shut.” — Adele Levine Copy Share Image
“We are not able to express ourselves in a hospital, even when seriously ill, we don�t have time.” — Julio Pereira Copy Share Image
“I have a favorite cemetery I go to, because it’s really clean and the doctors and nurses are all very nice.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Scarcely has one person been retrieved from the bridge than another slashes her wrists in the bathroom, while a third is breaking windows in… — Jeremy Laurance Copy Share Image
“How the fuck else am I going to get any attention in this place?" Lisa always called the hospital 'this place.” — Susanna Kaysen Copy Share Image
Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". Doctor: "Turn… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
Weirdly, the people complaining about the healthcare website not working after three weeks were quiet about the Iraq war not working after eight years. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
Twitter is currently valued at $8 billion, or $1 for every hour it has wasted. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
White House political adviser Karl Rove was one of Robert Novak's sources for the 2003 disclosure of a CIA operative's identity, according to a… — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
Ann Romney: 'The hardest part of being a stay at home mom was deciding which of our homes to stay at.' — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
As popular as Christmas is, it would be even bigger if it had vampires. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
The Republicans suddenly are very concerned about people losing their health coverage! I would believe that they were worried about our well-being if a)… — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
