Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
I stopped performing because I don't have the temperament of a performer. You have to want to do the same thing over… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
When I was in college, there were certain words you couldn't say in front of a girl. Now you can say them,… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your . — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
When you're in a public profession like I was, and you stop doing it like I did, people think you're either crazy… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
I didn't feel the need for anonymous affection, for people in the dark applauding. To me, it would be like writing a… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
Plagiarize, plagiarize, / Let no man's work evade your eyes, / Remember why the good Lord made your eyes, / Don't shade your eyes,… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
I ache for the touch of your lips dear, but much more for the touch of your whips dear. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
When someone makes a move Of which we don't approve, Who is it that always intervenes? U.N. and O.A.S., They have their place, I… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
I'm not tempted to write a song about George W. Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
Don't solicit for your sister, it's not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
“I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky. In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics: Plagiarize!… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
Counting in octal is just likst counting in decimal--if you don't use your thumbs. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
San Francisco is a city of twenty-something millionaire white kids named Doug. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
