It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
There's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now, two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
If you visit American city, You will find it very pretty. Just two things of which you must beware: Don't drink the… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
From the three, you then use one to make eight ones. You add those ones to the three, and you get one-three… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
Plagiarize, plagiarize, / Let no man's work evade your eyes, / Remember why the good Lord made your eyes, / Don't shade your eyes,… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
I ache for the touch of your lips dear, but much more for the touch of your whips dear. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
When someone makes a move Of which we don't approve, Who is it that always intervenes? U.N. and O.A.S., They have their place, I… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
I'm not tempted to write a song about George W. Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
Don't solicit for your sister, it's not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
“I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky. In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics: Plagiarize!… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
Counting in octal is just likst counting in decimal--if you don't use your thumbs. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
San Francisco is a city of twenty-something millionaire white kids named Doug. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
