Winter Formal Quotes by RJ Berger

100% guaranteed, no strings attached, porn-quality sex.

— RJ Berger

Fact. of all high school girls lose their virginity at school-sponsored dances.

— RJ Berger

I'm tired of attractive guys who wouldn't flatten me during sex.

— RJ Berger

That kid's like 5 feet of pure Columbine.

— RJ Berger

I'm telling you, dude, school dances, they're just a conspiracy

— RJ Berger

My name is RJ Berger, and taking the bus sucks.

— RJ Berger

How does your last full day of virginity feel?

— RJ Berger

First off, I've never seen one of you two cream puffs break a sweat. And second, that wasn't wrestling. That was two lady dogs…

— RJ Berger

It's called walking to school, fatty!

— RJ Berger

I still can't believe you asked mini Chewbacca to the winter formal!

— RJ Berger

I'm gonna get some bite marks on my hang-low Saturday. Kevin, assuming you're even capable of getting a boner after sitting on your balls…

— RJ Berger

Look, my dating life up until now has been a complete disaster, and if I'm not careful, my virginity will take on, like, a…

— RJ Berger

My name is R.J. Berger, and crime doesn't pay... at least not for me.

— RJ Berger

When you look back on your sorry-ass life 30 years from now, do you want to be the loser who did the right thing,…

— RJ Berger

School won't pay to fix the brakes on this yellow turd!

— RJ Berger