“Q: What's the best way to ensure that you'll always remember your wife's birthday? A: Forget it once.” — Various Copy Share Image
“TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between” — Various Copy Share Image
“Must the Earth forever be arranged like an ocean steamer, with large, luxurious rooms and luxurious food for a select few, and underneath in… — Various Copy Share Image
“God is worming out His and our adversaries, which He will do by little and little, till they be consumed. The covenant is seasonable.” — Various Copy Share Image
“it is no less since this same Confession of Faith was first subscribed and sworn to. And it has been still in use yearly… — Various Copy Share Image
“sees the Sights, under Perplexing Difficulties. The native borned Gothamite mite have notissed, a short time since, a venerable lookin' ex-Statesman,” — Various Copy Share Image
“What do you call a hundred blondes stacked on top of each other? An air mattress.” — Various Copy Share Image
“Thou wouldst never have chosen Him, if that loving and gracious God had not chosen thee.” — Various Copy Share Image
“Behold, and be awakened; behold, and be excited; behold, and be comforted; behold, and admire; behold, and wonder, that the King of heaven's Son… — Various Copy Share Image
“seal. ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦ A bartender walks into a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how jokes work. ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦ A baseball walks… — Various Copy Share Image
“I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" "Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I presume you have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think that logically speaking, you have a house." "Yes, I do have a house."… — Various Copy Share
Craig Jones: We ain't got no sugar. Smokey: No sugar? Damn. Y'all ain't never got two things that match. Either y'all got Kool-aid, no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger. Daaamn. -Friday — Various Copy Share
