Wheezy-waiter Quotes by Craig Benzine

During a heat wave every dude stinks.

— Craig Benzine

I would hate to be a bee. Be surrounded by bees all the time.

— Craig Benzine

Bird Poop in the mouth is always a surprise.

— Craig Benzine

Theres nothing to fear but fears themselves, such as monsters, rejection, food poisoning, redundancy, monsters, and oxford commas.

— Craig Benzine

Visiting Saturn sounds like a lot of fun but you will die!

— Craig Benzine

Nothing is perfect. Therefore, being perfect is being nothing… and that's a great way to lose weight.

— Craig Benzine

At one time or another, farts have coincided with every other sound, including this quote.

— Craig Benzine

It's better to have a broken CD player that worked once than to never have evolved into a self-aware carbon based lifeform.

— Craig Benzine

Based on this one experience I had, jumping to conclusions is always really stupid.

— Craig Benzine

If you're gonna lob something, lob love.

— Craig Benzine

Dont get scared of death. Get rich! Then die.

— Craig Benzine

The grass is always greener when it's covered in money.

— Craig Benzine