War Quotes by Jarod Kintz

“To stop a battle, a politician would propose a war.”

— Jarod Kintz

“A blanket could be used to stop a war, particularly if that war is a Cold War. 
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— Jarod Kintz

“If pens doubled as bullets, I bet few writers would want to write about war.”

— Jarod Kintz

“It’s a conflict of interest, because I’m not interested.”

— Jarod Kintz

“A blanket could be used to stop gun violence. Make sleep, not war.
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— Jarod Kintz

“We were engaged. Not to be married, but in combat. So same thing.”

— Jarod Kintz

“If I had the word “war” in my last name, like “Flowar,” I’d probably be a peaceful guy.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I’d start a war just to illustrate the value of peace.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I would rather make love than war, but only because condoms kill millions of lives more enjoyably.”

— Jarod Kintz

“You can believe history books when they tell you when wars were fought. You just can’t trust them as to why.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I wish somebody would have told my grandpa about the Cold War, so he could have at least put on a jacket.”

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used to simulate a war opponent. Especially if your nemesis is paraplegic and without transportation.
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— Jarod Kintz

“A blanket could be used as a shield, in a fight with a cold shower. I know, because I won that battle…

— Jarod Kintz

“A book on war is useful, but it’d be even more useful if it could shoot bullets. Or stop them. Or stop…

— Jarod Kintz

“I want to put silencers on all guns. That way war will be nothing more than a whisper in the future. And…

— Jarod Kintz

“If science took my IQ and spread it evenly among the world's population, like mental mayonnaise, we'd have more art, less war,…

— Jarod Kintz

“Only men who have crouched in the trenches under heavy machine gun fire, and then rose as one to charge the perceived…

— Jarod Kintz

“A blanket could be used to teach geography to a sleeping man. Better do it quick, before he wakes up and finds…

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used to perpetually feed the hungry, stop all wars, educate the masses, and ensure everlasting peace for all…

— Jarod Kintz

“A blanket could be used to put the war in warm. Just paint the blanket like an American flag, and then try…

— Jarod Kintz

“Know yourself better than your opponent knows you, know your opponent better than he knows himself, know yourself better than you know…

— Jarod Kintz

“I think a cool war helmet is painted with red and white concentric circles, exactly like a bull’s eye. But I’m not…

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used to stop war. Logically, a non-brick could be used to start a war. The most common non-brick…

— Jarod Kintz

“Instead of selling other countries weapons, we should sell them candles. Maybe then instead of singing the praises of war, they’d start…

— Jarod Kintz

“Some people create war and misery, some create wealth and money, and some create ideas and art. But we all create our…

— Jarod Kintz

“I’m a combat specialist and marriage counselor.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I once went toe to toe with an international thumb war champion.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Make pizza, not war. No matter how you slice it, that’s wise.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I am Cloud “Combat” McCloud. Fear my thunder! Love my chicken tenders.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I was once in a battle trying to fight my way out when I realized it’s better to sneak out.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Do not oppose my opposable thumbs. If you do, we’ll have a thumb war.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Too much coffee has been spilled in the name of war. Let us love and savor every drop.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Question for your life: If you could change War’s name, do you think you’d change its nature?”

— Jarod Kintz

“Mow the carpet, vacuum the lawn, and make love like war.”

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used to sell war to the peacemongers. The trick is to sell war cheap, because the real profit…

— Jarod Kintz

“If my legs get blown off in war, I’d like to have them replaced with a coffee table. Half man/half furniture, I’ll…

— Jarod Kintz

“When the war comes, you’ll find me on the front line, with some crayons, coloring outside the lines.”

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used to declare war on a country made of glass. I’ll bet those citizens would love to drink…

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used to start a civil war. And then that same brick could be used to start building the…

— Jarod Kintz

“I have a protective coating, like a tank. It’s called Love. And when I get you naked, I’ll want to make war…

— Jarod Kintz