The thing that bothers me the most is the recklessness and greed of the local ranchers, who run too many cattle back… — Merle Haggard Copy Share Image
I grew up having to piss in a bucket ’cos there was no indoor shitter, and now I have these computerised Japanese… — Ozzy Osbourne Copy Share Image
I like to think of myself as a regular guy, except I play football for a living. I try not to be… — Brian Urlacher Copy Share Image
The trouble with most coaches is that they start with the assumption that everybody is a turd. And that ain't right. — Bum Phillips Copy Share Image
Don't ever write a novel unless it hurts like a hot turd coming out. — Charles Bukowski Copy Share Image
The worst thing for a writer is to know another writer, and worse than that, to know a number of other writers.… — Charles Bukowski Copy Share Image
As you swim the river of live, do the breast stroke. It helps to clear the turds from your path. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
[On journalists:] They are as disruptive a menace to the public body: as grating turds in the intestines are to the private… — Caitlin Thomas Copy Share Image
Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
The most hopeful thing in the stories, I hope, is wit. I make it up. If I make up a world in… — George Saunders Copy Share Image
Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states… — John Oliver Copy Share Image
Sometimes you've got to eat a turd sandwich; makes the ribeye taste better next time. — Shane Battier Copy Share Image
If I started thinking too much about how influential I've been, then I'd be more of a turd than I already am. — Iggy Pop Copy Share Image
But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It's… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
My wife, trying to be helpful, goes to the grocery store and buys this stuff called soy bacon. Let me tell you… — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
There is San Diego - this retirement village, with its prim petticoat, that doesn't want to get too near the water. San… — Richard Rodriguez Copy Share Image
Watching these channels all day is incredibly depressing. I live in a constant state of depression. I think of us as turd… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
..few writers like other writers' works. The only time they like them is when they are dead or if they have been… — Charles Bukowski Copy Share Image
Life and literature is a question of what one thrills to, and further than that no man shall ever go without putting… — Philip Larkin Copy Share Image
Made up of corallitic accretions and painful increments, lit on rare occasions by bolts of revelation, and then stuffed behind the wainscotting… — Harold Town Copy Share Image
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