There are a lot of New York City Thanksgiving traditions. For example, a lot of New Yorkers don't buy the frozen Thanksgiving… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Government shutdowns do not actually become what the term implies. Two-thirds of the government cannot shut down. We're only talking about the… — Rush Limbaugh Copy Share Image
“The Thanksgiving turkey is the flesh of competing instincts —of remembering and forgetting.” — Jonathan Safran Foer Copy Share Image
“I love you for the million kindnesses in your heart, your infectious enthusiasm, your search for the perfect deep-fried cheese curds. I… — Amy E. Reichert Copy Share Image
Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, 'How long has Mom been drinking like this?' My… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak. — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
Eight days ago, we were the toast of the town. Eight days later we're Thanksgiving turkeys. — Wayne Gretzky Copy Share Image
My mother very rarely skipped a Thanksgiving turkey. And yet, none of them ever tasted quite the same, landing somewhere on a… — Wesley Morris Copy Share Image
“Secondly, your baby is not going to be pink or clean. Not at first anyway. Your child is going to look like… — Robin O'Bryant Copy Share Image
We're having a traditional Thanksgiving - turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc. — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring… — Russell Baker Copy Share Image
“boundbydad: thrust your fierce quavering manpole at me, stud grayscale: your dastardly appendage engorges me with hellfire boundbydad: my search party is… — David Levithan Copy Share Image
“Bay leaves granted wishes as July turned into August. I wrote a wish on the leaf and kissed it three times in… — Valerie Dunsmore Copy Share Image
What a marvelous resource soup is for the thrifty cook - it solves the ham-bone and lamb-bone problems, the everlasting Thanksgiving turkey,… — Julia Child Copy Share Image
When I was a kid in Indiana, we thought it would be fun to get a turkey a year ahead of time… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
“No doubt about it. The guy was huge. Not quite seven feet, but close. Almost to the ceiling. And he was wide.… — Lee Child Copy Share Image
“And standing in the middle of the room was Bigfoot. No doubt about it. The guy was huge. Not quite seven feet,… — Lee Child Copy Share Image
“Yet that is considered an excellent school, and I dare say it would be if the benighted lady did not think it… — Louisa M. Alcott Copy Share Image
My mother is a great hunter - she usually shoots our Thanksgiving turkey. — Kirsten Gillibrand Copy Share Image
Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I really like Thanksgiving turkey... it does not take only time in Houston that you look at natural breasts. — Arnold Schwarzenegger Copy Share Image
