I've been told by the BBC that if I make one more offensive remark, anywhere, at any time, I will be sacked. And even the angel Gabriel would struggle to survive with that hanging over his head. It's inevitable that… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
“I took ten days off and by 11 o’clock on the first morning I had drunk fourteen cups of coffee, read all the newspapers and the Guardian and then… and then what? By lunchtime I was so bored that I decided to hang a few pictures. So I found a hammer, and later a man came to replaster the bits… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
I dish the dirt out, and I can take it. But why should my mother and children have to take it? In 20 years,… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
This is perfect for India because everyone who comes here gets the trots. — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
“Make no mistake, Concorde was an extraordinary technological achievement. Almost certainly, one of the greatest.” — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you've got the Ebola virus and you're about to… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging. — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
“Lego, however, is always opened and then left lying around so adults have something to tread on when they are prowling around around the… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
She can take a year to read something, whereas I like a book that becomes more important in my life that life itself. When… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
You know what, I distinctly remember my boat blew up and I was killed! — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
Because drug dealers shoot each other in London, Norfolk farmers can't have guns to defend their homes. I mean, no one wants a gun… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
“Three chums would find themselves at a loose end for whatever reason and would agree to travel together to foreign lands for the purposes… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
“and although the W came along in the tenth century, modern Germans still seem to manage perfectly well by using a V instead. Except… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
