“Can you tell the difference between our margarine and our hair tonic? WE can’t.” — George Mikes Tell Difference Copy Share Image
“Many Continentals tink life is a game; the English think cricet is a game.” — George Mikes English Copy Share Image
THE British are brave people. They can face anything, except reality. — George Mikes Brave Copy Share Image
The man who is not afraid of danger is not a hero, but a psychopath. — George Mikes Danger Copy Share Image
Once you start buying first aid kits you start having accidents. — George Mikes Accidents Copy Share Image
Tel-Aviv airport is still the only airport in the world where each passenger is met by ten relatives. — George Mikes Airports Copy Share Image
On the Continent stray cats are judged individually on their merit-some are loved, some are only respected; in England they are universally… — George Mikes Ancient Copy Share Image
The country has always been governed by a coalition but today it is governed by a so-called Grand Coalition which is a… — George Mikes Coalition Copy Share Image
Rich people (in Australia) have swimming pools in their gardens but, at least, they do swim in them. — George Mikes Australia Copy Share Image
The Americans are extremely gadget minded people and American gadgets have a peculiar characteristic: they work. — George Mikes America Copy Share Image
The Art of Conversation could not die in Australia; it never lived. Television did not kill it; there was nothing there to… — George Mikes Art Copy Share Image
English humor resembles the Loch Ness Monster in that both are famous but there is a strong suspicion that neither exists. — George Mikes Comedy Copy Share Image
A foreign observer is struck by our gentleness: by the orderly behaviour of the English crowds, the lack of pushing and quarrelling,… — George Mikes Behaviour Copy Share Image
“Mr S. got angry. ‘Yes, I do have a son. He’s a good-for-nothing. A dead loss.’ I couldn’t ask which prison he… — George Mikes Prison Copy Share Image
“The final reason is purely practical and based on sound economic assessment. Whether we work or not makes hardly any difference. So… — George Mikes Economics Copy Share Image
“THE trouble with tea is that originally it was quite a good drink. So a group of the most eminent British scientists… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
I asked many friends if Australian anti-intellectualism was still a living force and they all told me it was. If you are… — George Mikes Above average Copy Share Image
The poor Americans are so busy defending the rights of Hindus in Pakistan, Moslems in India, Jews in Palestine, Koreans in Japan,… — George Mikes America Copy Share Image
In the field of snobbery, Australia is an underdeveloped country; even a few British ex-colonies, regarded as under developed in all other… — George Mikes Australia Copy Share Image
Bargaining is a repulsive habit; compromise is one of the highest human virtues - the difference between the two being that the… — George Mikes Bargaining Copy Share Image
The trouble with tea is that originally it was quite a good drink. So a group of the most eminent British scientists… — George Mikes Bores Copy Share Image
“Then you have tea for breakfast; then you have tea at eleven o’clock in the morning; then after lunch; then you have… — George Mikes Tea Copy Share Image
“Before you are admitted to British citizenship you are not even considered a natural human being. I looked up the word natural… — George Mikes Citizenship Copy Share Image
You must not refuse any additional cups of tea under the following circumstances: if it is hot; if it is cold; if… — George Mikes Circumstances Copy Share Image
“An average English house combines all the curses of civilisation with the vicissitudes of life in the open. It is all right… — George Mikes Life Copy Share Image
“Only motorists can answer this puzzling question: What are taxis for? A simple pedestrian knows that they are certainly not there to… — George Mikes Day and night Copy Share Image
“I have been told that my above-described theory is all wrong and is only due to my Central European conceit, because the… — George Mikes Theory Wrong Copy Share Image
“You should be careful when using these endless words. An acquaintance of mine once was fortunate enough to discover the most impressive… — George Mikes Business Copy Share Image
“Zebra crossings have produced a peculiar new type of mentality in an increasing number of people. This has its new correlated freedom:… — George Mikes Freedom Copy Share Image
The British suffer from a most unfortunate superiority complex - unjustified even under Victoria and most certainly hopelessly out-of-date today. — George Mikes British Copy Share Image
Israelis keep teaching you your own business. God knows everything but the Israelis know everything better. — George Mikes Business Copy Share Image
There are many non-intellectual countries; Australia is one of the few anti-intellectual ones. — George Mikes Australia Copy Share Image
Israel also deprived the world of its chance of shedding tears of genuine sympathy over her destruction. The world resents this; it… — George Mikes Chance Copy Share Image
To have created a Welfare State was a great achievement; but we must go on to create a Welfare Planet. — George Mikes Achievement Copy Share Image
People on the Continent either tell you the truth or lie; in England they hardly ever lie, but they would not dream… — George Mikes Continents Copy Share Image
The Japanese are human beings like the rest of us, but they will strongly resent this insinuation. — George Mikes Funny Copy Share Image
Nobody uses his car in New York, because so many people use it that traffic is congested and unbearably slow. — George Mikes Car Copy Share Image
“IT is easy to be rude on the Continent. You just shout and call people names of a zoological character.” — George Mikes Continent Copy Share Image
Remember that those five hundred words an average Englishman uses are far from being the whole vocabulary of the language. You may… — George Mikes Average Copy Share Image
