Sarcastic Quotes · Page 21

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

— George Carlin

Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.

— Anonymous

The human race is lucky I'm a nice guy, otherwise only 1/4 of them would be alive right now.

— Anonymous

Though we adore men individually, we agree as a group they're rather stupid.

— Anonymous

It is a fitting irony that under Richard Nixon, 'launder' became a dirty word

— William Zinsser

Oh, it's sunny outside. I better update my Facebook status for all of my friends that don't have windows.

— Anonymous

If you're going to be a smartass first you have to be smart, otherwise you're just being an ass!

— Anonymous

Arguments are extremely vulgar, for everybody in good society holds exactly the same opinions.

— Oscar Wilde

'Don't you worry, and don't you hurry.' I know that phrase by heart, and if all other music should perish out of…

— Mark Twain

“Will you accept me?" Fury "No. I'm here naked with you because all my clothes fell off by accident and I can't…

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

Sometimes I used to think to myself, 'Have I lost a sense of humor?' but I don't think that I have. I…

— Kenneth Branagh

I catch fire and find the reserves of courage and assertiveness to speak up. When that happens I get quite carried away.…

— William F. Buckley, Jr

I grew up as a very sarcastic person. I was always the class clown, and to date girls, I had to be…

— Kurt Fuller

In Lubbock, we grew up with two main things: God loves you and he's gonna send you to hell, and that sex…

— Butch Hancock

Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news…

— David Letterman

I like when I ask a person to please have a seat and they point to the only other chair in the…

— Nicole Hill

I'm going to eat something I found on the ground ... and when I do, I'm going to say Yum Yum!

— Higher Grounds

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure.

— Russell Baker

Having sarcastic friends will make you more creative. Sarcasm is a brain stimulant

— Anonymous

She looked as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth - or anywhere else.

— Elsa Lanchester

I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere.

— Noel Coward

It is true, I worry about the hype. The only person more over-hyped than me is you.

— Barack Obama

Never mumble some sarcastic shit to somebody who can obviously f*ck you up.

— Ice T

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

— Mark Twain

You don't like when I get jealous, so you must wanting me to stopping caring about us?

— Kristy Truong

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't driving around on a bus and having a campfire kind of adding to the environment…

— Will Smith

In order to fully realize how bad a popular play can be, it is necessary to see it twice.

— George Bernard Shaw

Some days I do not have the strength to get out of bed, then I am reminded why I have to. Bills.

— Michael Kilby

Every single time someone compliments me the first thing that comes into my mind is that they're being sarcastic

— Anonymous

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

— Ashleigh Brilliant

Whenever I see Myself In A Mirror, It Whispers,You're A Monster And I says Doubt Me.

— NizamShahbaaz

My back is not a voicemail. If you want to say something, say it to my face

— Bernajoy Vaal

I'm in love with you, you just want to be friends, and I'm totally cool living with that constant pain.

— Anonymous

You laugh because you called me a retarded country girl , I laugh because you actually think you insulted me. I'm country…

— Stephanie

Give a great big hug to all the drug dealers, sluts, and ass holes. They sure know how keep the world going

— Masha Mezz

She has been kissed as often as a police-court Bible, and by much the same class of people.

— Robertson Davies

Home isn't where the heart is, home is a place you go where they have to let you in

— Anonymous

“This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grow sarcastic.”

— Lorrie Moore

Oh you always retweet love quotes? You're so romantic I can't imagine why you're single.

— Anonymous

The main reason I don't have friends is, I don't know the difference between being sarcastic and being offensive.

— Anonymous