It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt because I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it… — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
This hole thing with the hurricane flooding New York City and taking out 90% of Jersey Shore.. yeah it's sad.. kinda.. but it's no… — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
My doctor was checking my balls for lumps the other day, I think it got awkward when I ran my fingers through his hair.. — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
So many people take for granted the gifts they have in life...and go throughout life with such a narrow & short sighted mind perception.… — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
Mathematics is always going to lead you to a higher truth. never memorize yourself with the weaker assumptions of lesser morals — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
I like to put things back where I got them from when I am done using them...so I dropped your mom off at the… — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:… — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
My goal this year is to buy a prius so I can be the anti prius driver. Be like, yeaaaah, that's my prius. The… — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
God always has something for you, a key for every problem, They're still a light for every shadow, a relief for every sorrow &… — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
I could eat a whole bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a more coherent statement than that. — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
I hate when they use fake dinosaurs in movies.. I can always tell... — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
Never underestimate the power of your actions.With one small gesture you can change a person's life.For better or for worse.God puts us all in… — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
LI understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock.… — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
Personally I think the reason y Jesus heals cripples is because heaven isn't wheelchair accessible. That shit was built way before wheelchairs. Besides,it's a… — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
I think the best way I could ever have had it put... is if somebody breaks your heart.. punch them in the face.. seriously… — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
