When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
I called my cat William because no shorter name fits the dignity of his character. Poor old man, he has fits now, so I call him Fitz-William. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
It ain't because lovers are so sensitive that they quarrel so often; it is because there is so much fun n the making up. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow's sister. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds a man down or polishes him up depends on the stuff he's made of. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Its harly my dog A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Unless we put heart and soul into our labor we but brutify our actions. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
A secret ceases to be a secret if it is once confided - it is like a dollar bill, once broken, it is never… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
If a man is right, he can't be too radical; if he is wrong, he can't be too conservative. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
As a general rule, if you want to get at the truth - hear both sides and believe neither. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Self-made men are most always apt to be a little too proud of the job. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
