Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone. — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
I tried the religion scam in Miami, so I know how hard that gig is. But, if you can get it to… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
There's a lot of money in wars, except in the war on poverty. Can't make any bread helping the poor. — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever the hell was necessary to perform miracles such as… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous,… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
I would be with a bunch of Kennedy fans watching the debate, and their comment would be, 'He's really slaughtering Nixon.' Then we would… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
If you're from New York and you're Catholic, you're still Jewish. If you're from Butte Montana and you're Jewish, you're still goyisch. The Air… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days. — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
Dig: I'm Jewish. Count Basie's Jewish. Ray Charles is Jewish. Eddie Cantor's goyish. B'nai B'rith is goyish; Hadassah, Jewish. If you live in New… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
“Take away the right to say ‘fuck’ and you take away the right to say ‘fuck the government.” — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
