I'm a substitute mom." "You're more like a crazy aunt who only gets called when somebody needs bailing out of jail. — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
Kid 1: *examining my gorgeous strawberry and blueberry pies*: Wow, Mom, your pies don’t look awful this time. Me (Ilona): ... ~A… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
“Did he kill Grandmother?” I whispered. “Don’t be ridiculous,” Erra’s voice said in my ear. “She is already dead. Besides, your grandmother was the… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
The only way to make sure that the Hand didn't get to you would have been to kill your brother. I could've done it,… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
“He hit her with his best smile. Her eyes widened. She took a deep breath. 'Oh no, not that seductive face. I'm overcome with the need to take off these awful clothes. What is happening? I do not understand. Oooh. Ahhh.' She touched her wrist to her forehead. 'Somebody help me. I'm being drenched with my own fluids.' Evil woman.… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share
“Because he doesn’t want me talking to my grandmother.” Barabas looked at Curran. Curran shrugged. “It’s a family thing. Sometimes your father puts your… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
I had forgotten that talking to you is like trying to pet a cactus." Saiman said dryly. "Thank you for reminding me." "Always happy… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
« He squeezed his hands into fists. I picked up a grapefruit-sized rock and handed it to him. It went flying. Home run, Beast… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
“He came for me. I couldn’t believe it. He came for me . Into a flying palace full of thousands of armed rakshasas in… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
Saiman picked up a coffee mug, stared at it, and hurled it against the wall. It shattered into a dozen pieces. We looked at… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
“Slowly the reality of the situation sank in. He got his ass kicked, learned nothing, and got saved by a dumb dog and an… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
“I paused with the pen in my hand. "He burst into flames?" "He became engulfed in fire." "Was his buddy made out of orange… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
“He hung his head. “Am I punished?” “Yes. I’m too mad to punish you right now. We’ll talk about it when we get home. Go brush your teeth, comb your hair, put on dry clothes, and get the guns. We’re going to Wal-Mart.” — Ilona Andrews Copy Share
The pervert." "He prefers to think of himself as sexual deviant." "Semantics. — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
