Masturbation Quotes · Page 4

Physics is to mathematics what sex is to masturbation.

— Richard P. Feynman

Stars today are just masturbation images.

— Robert Mitchum

Masturbation is great for the right arm

— Daron Malakian

Masturbation reduces risk of depression.

— Anonymous

Masturbation! The amazing availability of it!

— James Joyce

Masturbation darkens the color of the penis.

— Anonymous

Self improvement is masturbation...

— Chuck Palahniuk

“I can't," I said. "I threw my back out masturbating.”

— Chelsea Handler

Well, one thing you can say for masturbation... you certainly don't have to look your best.

— Mart Crowley

Sleeping with an ex is like masturbation. You know you're f*cking yourself but you do it anyway.

— Anonymous

Masturbation is always very safe. You not only control the person you're with, but you can leave when you want to.

— Dudley Moore

Novels, except as aids to masturbation, play no part in contemporary life.

— Gore Vidal

I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use the self service pump.

— Anonymous

I never did like working out - it bears the same relationship to real sport as masturbation does to real sex.

— David Lodge

Masturbation is a democratic pleasure, practiced by rich and poor, young and old, married and single.

— Mason Cooley

I can imagine you touching my private parts. With just the thought of you I can't help, but touch myself.

— Toni Braxton

This is a rumour-filled society and if people want to sit around and talk about whom I've dated, then I'd say they…

— Johnny Depp

[Norman Mailer] is against masturbation, he's against homosexuality. He believes that murder is essentially sexual. I think he's rather an anthology of…

— Gore Vidal

“Everyone does it." "But no one talks about it," Gloria said. "About the different levels of skill involved. You have to practice…

— Ursula Hegi

I was an altar boy, a spokesperson for the Virgin Mary, I was a choir boy but then at the age of…

— Guillermo del Toro

“Often, no sooner would the mind begin to scale the heights of Mt. Knowledge than it would receive a frantic call from…

— Jon Stewart

If you say children wouldn't know anything about masturbation on their own, you've never changed a little boy's diaper.

— Joycelyn Elders

“A writer should be able to open a window or two and prompt others to see the world and themselves in a…

— Barista Uno

I think that there's nothing wrong with masturbation. If you're not feeling good about your own sexuality and your own body, you're…

— Hugh Hefner

“The difference between a self-induced orgasm and an orgasm given by a man is like comparing a rainy day and a rain…

— Madeline Sheehan

“...Don't tell me he's bisexual! Don't tell me this is more of the guy in the hallway! Don't tell me he wants…

— Philip Roth

“Next time she’d have to ask him to keep the light on while he did it, so she could watch his face.…

— Tom Perrotta

Art is the process of evoking pity and terror, which is not abstract at all but very human. What the self-styled modern…

— Robert A. Heinlein

I always think that the difference between film and theater is like the difference between masturbation and making love. Because, in film,…

— Susan Sarandon

Prostitution reinforces all the old dumb clichés about women's sexuality; that they are not built to enjoy sex and are little more…

— Julie Burchill

So often, over the course of our day-to-days, we forget the details of what shapes us most in life. Sure, we'll pay…

— Kevin Smith

“Pornography, in my opinion, has been much misunderstood, for it doesn't develop sex fiends and send them roaming alleyways - it is…

— Truman Capote

I'm jackin' off reading Playboy on a hot afternoon, I'm a three time loser.

— Rod Stewart

If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again.

— Dennis Miller

“My wife keeps me busy while she talks—I’m not listening, but rather making the air masturbation gesture.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Masturbation, like writing, is best when your mind is working faster than your hand.”

— Jarod Kintz

Virtual sex, no matter how realistic, was really nothing but glorified, computer-assisted masturbation.

— Ernest Cline

Wrap the turkey up In aluminum foil My brother likes to masturbate With baby oil.

— Adam Sandler

“Masturbation = Imagination + Activity. Worry = Imagination + Negativity.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Writing a book is like masturbation, and making a movie is like an orgy.

— Clive Barker