Masturbation Quotes

Masturbation is good for the right arm.

— Daron Malakian

Philosophy is to science as masturbation is to sex.

— Karl Marx

Masturbation is the thinking man's television.

— Christopher Hampton

In masturbation there is nothing but loss.

— D. H. Lawrence

“...chuck-full of error, masturbation and Jesus.”

— Thorndike Edward L

Communication without a purpose is artistic masturbation.

— Rod Steiger

If masturbation is a crime then I should be on death row.

— Jeremy Piven

Female masturbation is permissible unconditionally.

— Mohammad Hussein Fadlallah

“Masturbation is pleasure without cost. So how might you make people pay?”

— Christopher S. Hyatt

Life is an ongoing masturbation everyday is a new ejaculation.

— Jeremy Limn

“Sex without love is nothing more than a complex form of masturbation.”

— August Clearwing

“The USA is turning into a nation filled with insane masturbators.”

— Steven Magee

But it was I, yes I, who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!

— Woody Allen

“En ting er fagkyndig analyse, en annen ting kvaksalveranalyse og onaniterapi.”

— Harald Schjelderup

Masturbation is not the happiest form of sexuality, but the most advisable for him who wants to be alone and think.

— Robert Anton Wilson

Sorry not being allowed to work from home has forced you to adjust your masturbation schedule.

— Anonymous

In the early days all I hoped was to make a living out of what I did best. But, since there's no…

— Les Claypool

Somewhere, there's someone who's masturbation ritual ends with them setting up ventriloquist dummies facing the bed. I mean, someone else.

— Dana Gould

Masturbation is not only an expression of self-regard: it is also the natural emotional outlet of those who...have already accepted as inevitable…

— Quentin Crisp

Masturbation is a meditation on self-love. So many of us are afflicted with self-loathing, bad body images, shame about our body functions,…

— Betty Dodson

“Maybe that's just what sex is supposed to be. Passionless connectivity ending in someone coming, or not. At least masturbation is straightforward.”

— Jason Donnelly

“If my penis were big enough to be mistaken for a leg, I am not sure I'd want the world to know.…

— Jarod Kintz

“For most men, at the very least, sex is a daily deal. Men need to come. If they aren’t doing it with…

— Nikki Sex

Instead of being a well-known painter, I became everybody's favorite dirty joke. Come to think of it, teaching masturbation skills is pretty…

— Betty Dodson

“I think I know what he is REALLY doing in there... and thinking about ME while doing it." (continuing) "But when he…

— Steven L. Sheppard

“That's all anyone has, and it's always brief, although, of course, some people believe they have a past where they can accumulate…

— Paulo Coelho

Made up of corallitic accretions and painful increments, lit on rare occasions by bolts of revelation, and then stuffed behind the wainscotting…

— Harold Town

Abused as we abuse it at present, dramatic art is in no sense cathartic; it is merely a form of emotional masturbation.…

— Aldous Huxley

“Since most boys (including me) learn masturbation around the time they hit puberty, they quickly develop a well-formed habit. As such, it’s…

— Charles Benedict

I think we're in an age starved for genuine experiences, instead of cathartic phony experiences through the media, structured, engineered experiences. And…

— Chuck Palahniuk

I wanted to put a reference to masturbation in one of the scripts for the Sandman. It was immediately cut by the…

— Neil Gaiman

To me, video games aren't something as necessary as food or sleep, but they're just as important as delicious food, drinks, afternoon…

— Hidetaka Suehiro

Masturbation is not physically necessary. There is already a way by which the male system relieves excessive spermatic fluid quite regularly through…

— Spencer W. Kimball

Think of the human body as a volcano that erupts releasing its gasses and lava flows. If the natural release mechanisms were…

— Johnny Luckett

“I would argue that masturbation is the human animal's most important adaptation. The very cornerstone of our technological civilization. Our hands evolved…

— Ernest Cline

One night I couldn't sleep. It was like 2:00 in the morning. I was thinking, 'What can I do?' I'm watching TV.…

— Adam Sandler

“For me the real evil of masturbation would be that it takes an appetite which, in lawful use, leads the individual out…

— C.S. Lewis

“In the nineteenth century, girls who learned to develop orgasmic capacity by masturbation were regarded as medical problems. Often they were 'treated'…

— Eve Ensler

The masturbation myth is absolutely responsible for more unwanted pregnancies and diseases than anything else on the planet earth. During the middle…

— Johnny Luckett

Our economic order is tightly woven around the exploitation of animals, and while it may seem easy to dismiss concern about animals…

— Bob Torres