“The wise treat horniness like a hiccup; the foolish, like an asthma attack.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Everyone thinks their whole life should be at least as much fun as masturbation. — Chuck Palahniuk Copy Share Image
“It’s still masturbation if your clone gives you a hand job. It’s also a lot like being a member of Congress.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Social media is to socializing what masturbating is to sex.” — Oliver Markus Malloy Copy Share Image
Contempt for others, like masturbation, is best as a secret pleasure. — Mason Cooley Copy Share Image
“The universe has an itch, and I have been called upon to scratch it.” — James Halat Copy Share Image
“For the most expensive way to realize an orgasm, men open their wallets. For the cheapest, they close their eyes.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I read Dad's books like I did before, now things are crystal clear. Lock the door in the bathroom, now I just… — Alice Cooper Copy Share Image
I wanna go south and get some more. Hey, they say that a stitch in time saves nine, they say I better… — Cyndi Lauper Copy Share Image
Maybe in the 90s or possibly in the next century people will look upon the 80s as the age of masturbation, when… — Bob Dylan Copy Share Image
I think that at a certain age, say fifteen or sixteen, poetry is like masturbation. But later in life good poets burn… — Umberto Eco Copy Share Image
Masturbation is our first and natural form of sexual activity and if that's inhibited or damaged, then we suffer for the rest… — Betty Dodson Copy Share Image
I sometimes feel like when you're talking to boys, they just hear certain keywords… But if you had a bubble above their… — Kate Hudson Copy Share Image
It is practically an axiom in psychiatry that precocious intellect combined with physical weakness can give rise to many unpleasant character traits… — Sam Savage Copy Share Image
And it’s not like I’ve never jacked off. I’m fifteen years old. Of course I do it. Any guy who says he… — Michael Thomas Ford Copy Share Image
I thought the whole masturbation thing was really odd and really weird. — Lynndie England Copy Share Image
Remember: People who live in glass houses can see you masturbating in their bushes. — Dan Johnson Copy Share Image
Life is full of important decisions like whether or not you got time to masturbate. — Peter Griffin Copy Share Image
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity. — Patrick Murray Copy Share Image
The profuse phallic symbolism of chess provides some fantasy gratification of the homosexual wish, particularly the desire for mutual masturbation. — Reuben Fine Copy Share Image
shopping for clothes is like masturbation - everyone does it, but it isn't very interesting and therefore should be done alone, in… — Lorrie Moore Copy Share Image
They are this horrible thing where you are distorted. The chin is too big, the head is too small. No, this is… — Karl Lagerfeld Copy Share Image
The war against illegal file-sharing is like the church's age-old war against masturbation. It's a war you just can't win. — Lawrence Lessig Copy Share Image
Every time I talk to a fancy journalist and they ask what I do in my free time my scumbag brain goes… — Anna Kendrick Copy Share Image
Abused as we abuse it at present, dramatic art is in no sense cathartic; it is merely a form of emotional masturbation... — Aldous Huxley Copy Share Image
“After discovering him in his threesome, I spent the next two weeks in bed suffering from a severe case of vagina elbow.… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
“Procrastination is like masturbation, in the beginning it feels good, but in the end, you're just f***ing yourself!” — Michael McCarthy Copy Share Image
“We would not be ashamed of doing some of the things we do in private, if the number of sane human beings… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
What was said about him, what the females needed to believe about him, was just oral masturbation for mouths that needed to… — J.R. Ward Copy Share Image
Call you up in the middle of the night. It's awful hard trying to make love long distance, but I really need… — Billy Joel Copy Share Image
Do you know what 'masturbation' is? I think you probably do because you are older than me. But just in case, I… — Stephen Chbosky Copy Share Image
It's masturbation for writers to be able to write this absolutely outrageous personality, in a character that you somehow agree with, part… — Rie Rasmussen Copy Share Image
I used to think masturbation was not really sex because it only involved me. That's a very limited view of human sexuality,… — Betty Dodson Copy Share Image
“A writer should be able to open a window or two for others to see the world and themselves in a new… — Barista Uno Copy Share Image
Masturbation is forbidden since he is destroying the potential to create a life. This sin is not punishable by court, only by… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Well, people got attatched. Once you cut the umbilical cord they attatched to the other things. Sight, sound, sex, money, mirages, mothers,… — Charles Bukowski Copy Share Image
Masturbation never got anybody pregnant, does not make anybody go crazy, and what we're about is preventing HIV in our bright young… — Joycelyn Elders Copy Share Image
I'm a promoter of masturbation. Don't sleep around...learn yourself first! Guys do it, but girls don't. They should. — Taylor Momsen Copy Share Image
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm. I really hope no one… — Audrey Hepburn Copy Share Image
