“Make it easier for your citizens to be healthy and smart and they will save you in ways you have yet to imagine. Make it difficult and your nation will swirl history’s toilet on its way to hell.” — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
I can say that I'm a feminist and I try to be progressive and all that stuff. But I when I'm tired or when… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
People who concern themselves with the rights of other adults who engage in consensual acts involving sex, love, and/or eating croissants together are damaged… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
“If you ask someone out and they say no, try it again in a few minutes wearing sunglasses and smoking a cigarette.” — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
If you have an opinion on what other adults do consensually with other adults when they take their pants off, you're a weirdo. — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
Running is special. We've all done it: well, poorly, focused, in fear, being pursued, toward a goal. It's just elemental. Running is like fire. — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
“Willful ignorance or resistance to alleged facts has been a big ingredient in any success I’ve had.” — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
“Cheesecake. Are you shitting me? Who invented that? Probably Jesus of Nazareth. Or maybe Louis Pasteur. It makes me physically sick to think that… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
But I also know in standup, there's nowhere to hide. You get on stage and you deliver, or you are eviscerated and you are… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
“I like to imagine that those dead, unloved nut jobs became friends under the earth and have their little crazy community where they show… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
With Twitter, you just want to make people laugh in their meeting; on stage, people have paid for their tickets with their hard-earned money,… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
I use Twitter as a tool to get involved with people, to sell tickets to gigs where I can stand in a room and… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
We can and should complain about certain horrors of the modern world, but when it comes to the treatment of mental illness, the advances… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
