Never tell. Not if you love your wife...In fact, if your old lady walks in on you deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous,… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
I would be with a bunch of Kennedy fans watching the debate, and their comment would be, 'He's really slaughtering Nixon.' Then we would… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
If you're from New York and you're Catholic, you're still Jewish. If you're from Butte Montana and you're Jewish, you're still goyisch. The Air Force is Jewish, the Marine Corps dangerous goyisch. Rye Bread is Jewish, instant potatoes, scary goyisch. Eddie Cantor is goyisch, George Jessel is goyisch-Coleman Hawkins is Jewish. — Lenny Bruce Copy Share
Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days. — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
Dig: I'm Jewish. Count Basie's Jewish. Ray Charles is Jewish. Eddie Cantor's goyish. B'nai B'rith is goyish; Hadassah, Jewish. If you live in New… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
“Take away the right to say ‘fuck’ and you take away the right to say ‘fuck the government.” — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
