“The flashing black line on an empty Word document reminds me that my life is counting down second by second, and that… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A writer must be a lifelong reader to be good. And if you want to be a great writer, I’d suggest trying… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Only the living can read. This means that when I write, my target market is people of the future. Greetings, people of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Life is made up of only one thing: the now. The past and the future could be considered dreams, if only they… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best thing to do with a seven-year-old is wait until they’re eight to tell them to wait until they’re 18 to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We made love like oysters, and then we ate oysters. Then we made love like two people sitting on opposite ends of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Question for your life: Let’s say we’re making love on the moon, and my clone decides to show up. Would you tell… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’d prefer going on a date with 10 women at once. Not only might I get a bulk discount at the restaurant,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I met a man named Birthday. I didn’t tell him when I was born, because I thought that that one day in… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be dropped at the feet of your enemy, as a gift, as an insult, as a way of saying… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A person’s favorite word is brother, because he or she can relate to it. I love it because we value most in… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In my dream I was a seal, and I made love to a seagull. Then I got eaten by a shark, because… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I loved her so much, but she vanished from my life. She didn’t just suddenly disappear, but she slowly began losing her… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Question for your life: Would you rather be the first female U.S. President, the first woman to walk on the moon, or… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m forced to shower in the closet, because my friend is wearing all my clothes, and he’s in the bathtub at the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
