Do not elicit your child's political opinions. He doesn't know any more than you do. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
[On parenthood:] You can't change your mind--you know, and say, this isn't working out, let's sell. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
The 3 questions of greatest concern are:, 1) Is it attractive?, 2) Is it amusing?, 3) Does it know its place? — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
It would also have been helpful to have gone to a Catholic grammar school. The only people who know grammar are those… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
I've never seen the Kardashians; I'm not sure who they are. But I know a lot about them because it's impossible not… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
Ever since I was a little child, I refused to see movies of books that I loved. Because you already know what… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
The French probably invented the very notion of discretion. It's not that they feel that what you don't know won't hurt you;… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
How do you know if your child is a writer? Your obstetrician holds his stethoscope to your abdomen and only hears excuses. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
There were a zillion bad jobs. That doesn't exist any more. I mean, I could wake up one afternoon with zero money… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
Nothing lasts. So it's my belief, yes, I know a lot of the things that we liked didn't last, but maybe things… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn. You see, advice and lovelorn… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
I believe in talent. I know you're not supposed to believe in that anymore because you're supposed to believe if you just… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
I do not think everyone is created equal. In fact, I know they're not. [The Constitution] means that everyone should have the… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
They know you can't get people to stop smoking, so they develop a system of informants. That's the whole idea of second-hand… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
New Yorkers, we've seen Donald Trump for, like, 30 years; we know who he is. So he wasn't a surprise to me. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
Even if people aren't Republicans, it doesn't seem shocking to them that Ronald Reagan was the president. Well of course, because Arnold… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
[Children are] like talking animals. Their consciousness is so different from ours that they constitute a different species. They don't have to… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
The theater itself is so archaic and old fashioned, that it doesn't really matter to me whether it's on Avenue D or… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
In a print interview, as you may or may not know, they [editors] can do whatever they want. And they do. This… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
You know, almost everyone is an irritant to me. I think people have forgotten what the word 'public' means. 'Public' means you're… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
What do they do in these [private] clubs, anyway? Sit around saying things like 'Thank God I'm here. No Jews! What fun!… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
Why not have your first baby at sixty, when your husband is already dead and your career is over? Then you can really devote… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
I think humor is warmer, and wit is colder. Wit is judgment, whereas humor invites some sort of response. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
Communists all seem to wear small caps, a look I consider better suited to tubes of toothpaste than to people. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
“lack, or loutish and crass kollective is a program dedicated to the proposition that vulgarity and bad taste are an inalienable right. the lackies,… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
[Friendships] are easy to get out of compared to love affairs, but they are not easy to get out of compared to, say, jail. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
Smoking is, as far as I'm concerned, the entire point of being an adult. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
When it comes to sports I am not particularly interested. Generally speaking, I look upon them as dangerous and tiring activities performed by people… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
The first time I ever saw platform shoes in the '70s, I knew they'd been revived from the '40s, and I felt sickened. And… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
Children ask better questions than adults. "May I have a cookie?" "Why is the sky blue?" and "What does a cow say?" are far… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
![“[On parenthood:] You can't change your mind--you know, and say, this isn't working out, let's sell.” quote by Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/69a/fran-lebowitz-690_can-t-change_on-parenthood-you-can-t-change-your-mind_271679.jpg)
![“I do not think everyone is created equal. In fact, I know they're not. [The Constitution] means that everyone should have the same laws as everyone else. It doesn't mean that everyone's as smart or as cute or as lucky as everyone else.” quote by Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/356/fran-lebowitz-690_constitution_i-do-not-think-everyone-is-created-equal_123740.jpg)
![“[Children are] like talking animals. Their consciousness is so different from ours that they constitute a different species. They don't have to be particularly interesting children; just the fact that they are children is sufficient. They don't know what anything is, so they have to make it up. No…” quote by Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/913/fran-lebowitz-690_animal_children-are-like-talking-animals-their_2862786.jpg)
![“In a print interview, as you may or may not know, they [editors] can do whatever they want. And they do. This is why most people are more hesitant to do print, because they can change it, and they do change it. They even change things that are in quotation marks, which is a pet peeve of mine. I've…” quote by Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/74b/fran-lebowitz-690_can-do_in-a-print-interview-as-you-may-or-may-n_1784638.jpg)
![“What do they do in these [private] clubs, anyway? Sit around saying things like 'Thank God I'm here. No Jews! What fun! This is living, huh? Look! No Jews! I don't know when I've had a better time. And no women! Just men! And no blacks! Just whites! White men! White men who are not Jewish! It…” quote by Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/d5d/fran-lebowitz-690_bars_what-do-they-do-in-these-private-clubs-a_2328268.jpg)
![“[Friendships] are easy to get out of compared to love affairs, but they are not easy to get out of compared to, say, jail.” quote by Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/cdb/fran-lebowitz-690_affair_friendships-are-easy-to-get-out-of-compa_77324.jpg)
