You know how some people have gay-dar? I have fat-dar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not. And I also have cerebral-palsy-dar. — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, "Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery." I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump… — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that… — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese. — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
The whole thing about working in front of the camera is to make people laugh when they're not supposed to. — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
I kind of put myself out there as is. I'm a quiet person. I don't know if that's surprising. I'm a Pilates junkie. — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
It's fun for me to couple emotion with comedy. I think it helps comedy. I think a lot of times American comedies don't play… — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
The problem with these interviews is that there's no sarcastic font. — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
People are trying to prove things. And I probably have that. I probably do. Probably guilty of it, in a way. — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
American society loves to prop people up and then take them down. — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
I just try to keep myself a traditionalist. I liked being an underground comic doing my thing. I want to maintain that. I just… — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
