With my boyfriend, we can make sexist jokes to each other because we know it's absolutely not true. If I get home… — Emily Browning Copy Share Image
So I said, 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?' She said: 'I want to go somewhere I've never been… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you don't have your experiences in the moment, if you gloss them over with jokes or zoom past them, you end… — David Rakoff Copy Share Image
I had to keep the text pretty spare compared to what I would typically do in a picture book. My picture books… — Laurie Keller Copy Share Image
I'm not built for war. I'm built for entertainment. I'm built for jokes - either telling them or being the butt of… — Josh Peck Copy Share Image
People are too lazy and too stupid to think for themselves that we've got sitcoms with canned laughter that lets you know… — Marilyn Manson Copy Share Image
I have a lot of glass in my house, and I remember saying as a joke once that I clean my stuff… — Courteney Cox Copy Share Image
The intention which is fixed on God as its only end will keep people steady in their purposes, and deliver them from… — Thomas a Kempis Copy Share Image
We're all just a bundle of habits shaped by our memories. And to the extent that we control our lives, we do… — Joshua Foer Copy Share Image
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. Mother, where do babies come from?… — Kevin Copy Share Image
For what my generation did and went through and so forth, and what these glamour boys earn for what little they play,… — Chuck Bednarik Copy Share Image
Basically I made her [ Sara Pocock] listen to funk music for a good month, a nonstop stream of George Clinton. I… — Baron Vaughn Copy Share Image
I'm a bug on acting, which distinguishes Second City from a lot of other revues. It comes from the character, the behavior,… — Bernard Sahlins Copy Share Image
Parents vary in their sense of what would be suitable repayment for creating, sustaining, and tolerating you all those years, andwhat circumstances… — Frank Pittman Copy Share Image
Now, I want to explain something to you guys. I don't have an ending joke, because I don't tell jokes. I tell… — Bruce Bruce Copy Share Image
People try to put ownership on things: 'That's mine, that's my joke.' No such thing. Like if you tripped or stumbled and… — Tommy Chong Copy Share Image
I do not make jokes about Sarah Palin simply because I could not live in this world if I believed she was… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
As a kid, I was searching for my tribe of other people who saw through the matrix. Even as a kid I… — RuPaul Copy Share Image
I love the idea that we put in jokes the kids don't get. And that later, when they grow up and read… — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: "Is this some kind… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
“Yeah, I crack myself up a lot more than I crack anybody else up, but that is okay. At least I am… — Corey Taylor Copy Share Image
The ultimate joke was the idea that capitalism would eat its own feces in order to make money, that would make fun… — Chuck Palahniuk Copy Share Image
Good shoes - they're the ultimate finishing touch. In fact, we actually joke in my family that your shoes have to be… — Cam Newton Copy Share Image
I will do almost anything for the sake of a joke or for the sake of someone's real belief in something to… — Selma Blair Copy Share Image
A Catholic priest, a Jewish rabbi, and a Muslim mullah all walk into a bar, and the bartender says: - What is… — C. S. Lewis Copy Share Image
I don't think I've ever died on stage. I've had jokes that died on stage. I've told a joke and absolutely nothing.… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I never get tired of 'It Was A Good Day' references or jokes or anything like that. It's just, you know, keeping… — Ice Cube Copy Share Image
A woman came to ask the doctor if a woman should have children after thirty-five. I said, 'Thirty-five children is enough for… — Gracie Allen Copy Share Image
I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age, telling the same joke again and again. Especially if they're jokes that… — Simon Le Bon Copy Share Image
This is for you Danny, and Hunter, and Tanner, and KC. And for all the other ppl that insist on making these… — Rachel Copy Share Image
People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“Unbeknown to us, some of the people who we hope are missing us wherever they are do miss us; some miss someone… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I've always felt that animals are the purest spirits in the world. They don't fake or hide their feelings, and they are… — Pink Copy Share Image
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That annoying moment when you just want to listen to music but someone wants to constantly speak to you, making you pause… — Emanuel Sebastiao Copy Share Image
When you put yourself in environments that continually test you, that's where all the good stories come from. That's where the jokes… — Henry Rollins Copy Share Image
My biggest superhero of writing is Jorge Luis Borges, the Argentine fabulist. He's an amazingly perceptive writer, but also willing to make… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
The Lord's angel, Gebrail, dictated the Koran to Mohammed the Lord's Prophet. What a joke if all that holy book were only… — Thomas Pynchon Copy Share Image
Racing is bulging at the seams with pure nutball characters, men who can drink more, screw more, fight more, laugh more, joke… — Brock Yates Copy Share Image
![“Basically I made her [ Sara Pocock] listen to funk music for a good month, a nonstop stream of George Clinton. I was talking about the art from...if you look at the art from George Clinton albums there are two or three artists he worked with...I made her listen to my album too so all the images…” quote by Baron Vaughn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ace/baron-vaughn-6620_albums_basically-i-made-her-sara-pocock-listen_41518.jpg)
