I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not. So it's hard for me… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I get just as much of a thrill out of constructing a good sentence that gets a laugh at the end as… — Julian Clary Copy Share Image
If I can enjoy a joke at the expense of another; if I can in any way slight another in conversation, or… — Amy Carmichael Copy Share Image
What I didn't realize is that the writing process for comedies is that you do your table read, and if you aren't… — David Morse Copy Share Image
I'm not good at telling a joke, but I can say a line in a certain way that makes people uncomfortable because… — Walton Goggins Copy Share Image
Yesterday, I came home early from work and found my Girlfriend cheating. The lazy bitch has hired a maid for cooking. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There is laughter, shrill calls. Everyone is flirting, saying in nudges and jokes and blushing what they would do in private — Jesmyn Ward Copy Share Image
Comedians who are 22 years old can certainly be funny and clever, and be capable of telling jokes - but are they… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
Everything you see comes from inside. People don't see it but inside the dressing room we laugh and joke a lot so… — Luis Suarez Copy Share Image
If you're going to do a Chris Christie joke, just say, 'Christie spent $82,000 at a concession stand at MetLife Stadium. Then… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
I don't want to get too much into my personal relationships but I will say I am actually doing the single thing… — Matt Lanter Copy Share Image
As a woman, I know you're young but you gotta hear it now,the most valuable part about you is your brain. Get… — Sophia Bush Copy Share Image
I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think; there's the truth.' I try to think of… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
You get sick of jokes, you know. Either I do them on TV, and then you worry, like, "Oh, everyone's gonna see… — Dave Chappelle Copy Share Image
The only time I've ever been mistaken for someone else is - and this arguable still - when a person came up… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Scripts are a house of cards and you can't just reach in the middle and pull out the middle card because the… — Paul Feig Copy Share Image
I think, in comedy, timing is everything. You and I could tell the same joke, but if one of our timing is… — T.I Copy Share Image
I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Someone has remarked that 'An ideal math talk should have one proof and one joke and they should not be the same'. — Ronald Graham Copy Share Image
I don't want to be with someone boring because I'm always laughing. I like to play jokes on people and be sarcastic. — Ashley Benson Copy Share Image
When comedy is good, it's jazz. The beats of it, the looseness, the improvisational part, the music-the way you hit the inflection,… — Billy Crystal Copy Share Image
As professionals, we just try to keep the jokes to a minimum, when we're in a certain situation. When we're not doing… — Mike Colter Copy Share Image
The opening scene in A New Hope, when you see the huge ship, it goes on, and on, and on, and on,… — Cass Sunstein Copy Share Image
At the time, it was a really funny joke [Fluffy] and I went back and forth with going against the joke or… — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
I love 'Last Call.' It took me a little bit to figure out that I wasn't going to be that guy in… — Carson Daly Copy Share Image
You can't wait forever for an audience to get the joke, but you should give them at least two seconds to join… — Franklyn Ajaye Copy Share Image
I performed stand-up because I didn't have to ask anyone's permission. My set was never joke-centric. It was a performance. — Michael Keaton Copy Share Image
I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they… — George Burns Copy Share Image
You throw a perfectly straight line at the audience and then, right at the end, you curve it. Good jokes do that. — Abe Burrows Copy Share Image
Facebook should have some kind of limit on the number of times that people can change their relationship statuses. After five or… — Ryan Swain Copy Share Image
Over the past 50 years Bob Hope employed 88 joke writers who supplied him with more than one million gags, and he… — Eddie Murphy Copy Share Image
What I would do in order to be popular was, I'd put myself on line and joke around and be funny, and… — Leonardo DiCaprio Copy Share Image
I can tell jokes. I can talk to the audience. I can relax. I can change my songs whenever I want. I… — Robert Goulet Copy Share Image
I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
A joke is a good camouflage. Next best comes sentiment... But the best camouflage of all - in my opinion - is… — Max Frisch Copy Share Image
BLONDNESS-okay 5 blondes go into a club theirs 2 dirty blondes and 3 bleach blondes and then they see 2 other blondes… — Unkown Copy Share Image
I will never joke about old soldiers who try to get to reunions to talk over the war again. To talk of… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Awards shows have devolved into self-parodies - liberals in limos, corny insider jokes delivered by the hosts among bad teleprompter reading from… — John Ridley Copy Share Image
I had a couple of decent laughs on Townies, but for the most part, delivering a joke that you just know is… — Eric McCormack Copy Share Image
Every time a woman makes herself laugh at her husband's often-told jokes she betrays him. The man who looks at his woman… — Germaine Greer Copy Share Image
![“At the time, it was a really funny joke [Fluffy] and I went back and forth with going against the joke or embrace it. I decided to embrace it and now we're talking about it, so it was a good call.” quote by Gabriel Iglesias](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f1/gabriel-iglesias-1974_back-and-forth_at-the-time-it-was-a-really-funny-joke-f_2164289.jpg)
