I don't think every joke has to be so dadgum cerebral. I mix it up really good, because that's the kind of… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I would eat healthy but remember that 1 time Adam & eve ate an apple in the garden of Eden & doomed… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'd rather laugh in bed than do it. If I went to a lady of the night, I'd probably pay her to… — Billy Joel Copy Share Image
I'm not a comedian. I don't do stand-up. I don't tell jokes. I'm a comedic actor, and approach my work that way.… — Eugene Levy Copy Share Image
My joke, which isn't really a joke, is that there will be one of two tours: the tour for the album that… — Richard Marx Copy Share Image
We were almost getting used to playing without fans in the Champions League. Jokes aside though, I think help from our fans… — Roberto Mancini Copy Share Image
I often fake my death and then just show up at people's houses. They say 'that's a good one Thom' but I… — Thom Yorke Copy Share Image
The best joke-tellers are those who have the patience to wait for conversation to come around to the point where the jokes… — Joseph Epstein Copy Share Image
It's important to remember that life is a joke, and that outlook grants a lot of perspective, but I don't think comedy… — John Mulaney Copy Share Image
I always thought it was important to overdeliver, and when I got one of my first jobs, writing jokes for Garry Shandling… — Judd Apatow Copy Share Image
When we were trying to find the woman to play Maura Isles, it was a no-brainer when Sasha came in. We just… — Angie Harmon Copy Share Image
“I be dog if hit don't look like sometimes that when a fellow sets out to play a joke, hit ain't another… — William Faulkner Copy Share Image
My mom was my English teacher in high school. So to be able to bend the rules and be the class clown… — Paul Rust Copy Share Image
Saw myself naked in front of a mirror a couple days ago - that's not the joke, that's what we called the… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
I've always had to conquer fear when I'm on stage. Basically, I was and still am a very shy person. It's absolutely… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I keep on repeating something told to me by an American psychologist: "When you are making a joke about someone and you… — Tariq Ramadan Copy Share Image
I'm obsessed with coffee. My doctor says if I don't cut back, I am going to permanently damage my esophagus. No joke. — Matthew Gray Gubler Copy Share Image
Guy: Wanna hear a joke about my d*ck? Nvm its too long. Girl: Wanna hear a joke about my p*ssy? Nvm you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not the type that would ask for a number or ask him on a date, but I have approached a guy.… — Jhene Aiko Copy Share Image
You see a lot of sketch variety shows where each segment is one joke that they repeat over and over and over… — Eric Andre Copy Share Image
On Anzac Day, coffee and jokes with a Turk might be the most meaningful and fair dinkum dawn service you could possibly… — Michael Leunig Copy Share Image
The youngest child in any family is always a jokemaker, because a joke is the only way he can enter into an… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
If a condescending joke is truly funny, make yourself the subject- you will increase the number of people laughing by at least… — Joe Harsel Copy Share Image
I’ve never taken time off from being an actor. This is the kind of career I’d be so happy to do until… — Ansel Elgort Copy Share Image
Remember that the wit, humour, and jokes of most mixed companies are local. They thrive in that particular soil, but will not… — Lord Chesterfield Copy Share Image
I don't do plays without jokes anymore. I've retired from those plays. I think it's bad manners to invite people to sit… — Bill Nighy Copy Share Image
I think jokes are a perfectly viable form of literature. Some critics take issue with me because I make my points and… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
Sometimes you just create a joke out of thin air in the editing room. I'm really glad I've had that experience. It… — Ed Helms Copy Share Image
What incensed him the most was the blatant jokes of the ones that passed it all off as a jest, pretending to… — James Joyce Copy Share Image
You can either just have fun with the joke or you can have fun with the joke and think about the implication… — Reggie Watts Copy Share Image
Sometimes in the studio movies I've been working in, you'll put a joke in a movie because the crowd loves it -… — David Gordon Green Copy Share Image
I'd like to speak a foreign language well enough to get the jokes. I'd like to talk with Socrates, and watch Michelangelo… — Robert Fulghum Copy Share Image
The great joke is that a realist is an optimistic pessimist. That's very witty. Whether it's truthful or not, that I don't… — John Hurt Copy Share Image
[The Outsiders] was very competitive, in the best possible way. Full of love, full of companionship and fellowship, pranks and practical jokes… — Rob Lowe Copy Share Image
All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from… — Alan Moore Copy Share Image
If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Why is a Christmas tree better than a man? Because it stays up, has cute balls, and looks good with the lights… — Emily Giffin Copy Share Image
Many of the political jokes that circulated in the Third Reich were directed at Goering. He collected them [all] in a large… — Richard Overy Copy Share Image
What's the point of blurring out the middle finger on TV, like oh you've fooled me, what's behind that blur? Is it… — Persia Copy Share Image
![“[The Outsiders] was very competitive, in the best possible way. Full of love, full of companionship and fellowship, pranks and practical jokes and ball-busting.” quote by Rob Lowe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/149/rob-lowe-855_balls_the-outsiders-was-very-competitive-in-th_2312586.jpg)
![“Many of the political jokes that circulated in the Third Reich were directed at Goering. He collected them [all] in a large leather notebook and delighted in re-telling most of them to his friends.” quote by Richard Overy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/529/richard-overy-41096_delighted_many-of-the-political-jokes-that-circula_1772394.jpg)
