Jokes are over and we are at strokers, the devil is a liar modasuckas — Michael Blackson Copy Share Image
“We the living are to blame for the painfulness of being dead.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
In my deepest parts of sadness, I'm always making a joke or being sarcastic. — Lea Thompson Copy Share Image
“Some people wish they were as happy as or happy like some people think they are.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
My life is passed in making bad jokes and seeing them turn into true prophecies. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Girl- How do I look? Boy- I would rather stay blind¦and let the mirror suffer!!!! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I honestly and truly love and believe in what I'm making, and it's not a joke, whereas some people would take a… — Casey Spooner Copy Share Image
And it's Gryfindor in possession again, as Johnson takes the Quaffle— Flint alongside her —poke him in the eye, Angelina —it was… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang. Today's… — Kevin Copy Share Image
I could never do stand-up because it's that thing of having to get up on stage. And out of every 10 jokes… — Daniel Radcliffe Copy Share Image
May I take your order, sir? the waiter asked. Yes. How do you prepare your chickens? Nothing special, sir, he replied. We… — Troublemaker Copy Share Image
The good Lord in his ultimate wisdom gave us three things to make life bearable: hope, jokes, and dogs, but the greatest… — Robyn Davidson Copy Share Image
It's hard to program a computer to make jokes. The brain needs to do something here; the brain needs to come up… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
It's harder when people are playing along, because it's just not as funny. They're trying to be funny, and it sort of… — Steve Carell Copy Share Image
“I wrote. I wrote all the things I couldn’t say to him. I wrote about how much I believed in us. I… — Kimberly Novosel Copy Share Image
I did a guest shot on a comedy series where they did 20 to 30 takes of everything. It's just gone by… — Dick Van Dyke Copy Share Image
There is a fact-based belief system available to you if you want to believe in facts. But this is the weirdest time.… — John Flansburgh Copy Share Image
I have this JPM thing: jokes per minute. I've worked out that I should get in about 12 punchlines in five minutes.… — Frank Skinner Copy Share Image
I know the look of an apple that is roasting and sizzling on the hearth on a winter's evening, and I know… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Yes, we were amazed when that happened. It was a real joke to us. Konrad Lueg and I did a Happening, and… — Gerhard Richter Copy Share Image
I believe that a perfect house is like a perfect person; no one really wants to be around them and everyone secretly… — Emily Henderson Copy Share Image
The joke of it all is that you are looking from your true nature right now without knowing it. If you would… — Adyashanti Copy Share Image
I lived that life for real, so to talk about it was like a joke, you know what I mean? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Plato was only a Bernard Shaw who unfortunately made his jokes in Greek. — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
Life is too important to be taken as a joke, but too ridiculous to be taken seriously. — Ashleigh Brilliant Copy Share Image
“bartender walks into a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how jokes” — Various Copy Share Image
When life gives you lemons, go find a kid with a paper cut and make his life miserable. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Soon I learned that the worse the puns and jokes, the funnier they could be, if you knew how to deliver them. — John Lasseter Copy Share Image
Ladies, Don't worry - if you haven't found the man of your dreams yet, there's always a vibrator. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
We all have been in love and all fell out of love... I rather fall in shit then fall in love again... — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
The biggest risk for this generation is to have a haircut from a new salon..!! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Humor is when the joke's on you but hits the other fellow first -- before it boomerangs. — Langston Hughes Copy Share Image
People write a lot of similar material. That's why I try to come up with the most absurd jokes. — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
