Jokes Quotes · Page 31

“Marketing is so powerful that it can make even an extremely untalented musician a one-hundred-hits wonder.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Never laughing too loudly in a restaurant no matter how good the joke.

— Paulo Coelho

Who are you? Why am I here? I want answers now or I want them eventually!

— Nikhil Saluja

He was saying that the end of the world wasn't an accident; it was a joke.

— Holly Black

It is much easier to write a good Times leading article than a good joke in Punch.

— Gilbert K. Chesterton

Sometimes you just have to sit down and ask your parents if they sold your soul.

— Nikhil Saluja

Nothing reveals a man's character better than the kind of joke at which he takes offense.

— Georg C. Lichtenberg

I don't like to argue with females, I'm simply explaining why I'm right…

— Kevin McCarty

If you're from New Jersey, let people make all those bad jokes about our state. Don't let anyone know how great it…

— Jon Bon Jovi

I learned lots of dirty jokes very young. There was this girl who told me them. The gang I led went in…

— John Lennon

Even if the painting is green, well then! The 'subject' is the green. There is always a subject; it's a joke to…

— Pablo Picasso

Have you ever heard a good joke? If you've ever heard someone just right, with the right pacing, then you're already on…

— Rita Dove

I'm called an oral historian, which is something of a joke. Oral history was here long before the pen, long before Gutenberg…

— Studs Terkel

There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous…

— Mose Allison

A man must serve his time to every trade, Save censure-critics all are ready made. Take hackney'd jokes from Miller, got by…

— Lord Byron

[Elbowing incident] was a joke but what I want to say now is that I'm a bit sad that everyone failed to…

— Seungri

I believe fully in making fun of children. I believe very strongly that you should never make fun of an embryo or…

— Kathy Griffin

In almost every interview someone asks what does HIM stand for. I can't even remember our latest lie about that. When Hanson…

— Ville Valo

Doing nothing about climate change is still a fairly common affliction, even in this day and age. What to do with those…

— Franny Armstrong

How you speak and the words you use tell much about the image you choose to portray. Use language to build and…

— Thomas S. Monson

You think that sense of humor goes as far as our ideology. I think that ultimately, we have we have very interesting…

— Jon Stewart

I think people take Blink-128 more seriously now than they did before. And it's largely our fault because we called our records…

— Mark Hoppus

I tell this joke about Barack Obama is the best communicator of our generation: The guy reads a teleprompter better than any…

— Frank Luntz

There is always the risk: something is good and good and good and good, and then all at once it gets awkward.…

— John Green

I was always cutting words. I even would write my jokes in my notebook. I still do this, almost like a poem.

— Anthony Jeselnik

If you push your brother down the stairs, he will become your step brother.

— Nikhil Saluja

I make a joke that I'm the Internet curmudgeon, but 'wary' is a good way to put it.

— Bill Keller

If you keep making jokes like that, somebody is going to shoot you, father.

— Mary Todd Lincoln

There's no harm in talking to yourself, but try to avoid telling yourself jokes you've heard before.

— Ashleigh Brilliant

I got expelled from school on pajama day…But its not my fault I sleep naked.

— Anonymous

I've never had a proper job. I do jokes about not knowing the value of money, about having a famous dad.

— Tom Rosenthal

The world is a very serious and, at times, very sad place - but at other times it is all such a…

— George Harrison

Just because you say Swag in every other sentence doesn't mean you have it.

— Anonymous

I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.

— Kathy Griffin

Some subjects are so serious that one can only joke about them.

— Niels Bohr

I just wanted an unspecific location not to have google map sex.

— Jeremy Limn

The most powerful force in the universe is women gossiping.

— Nikhil Saluja

The joke in aviation is, 'If you want to make a million, you'd better start with £10m.'

— Bruce Dickinson

“in this society, things you’d think could only be bad jokes actually happen all the time.”

— Banana Yoshimoto

I wanted to get a tape recorder, but I got a parrot instead. I think I did that joke backwards.

— Mitch Hedberg