“Hey, dragon!" Jay said loudly. The dragon opened one eye. "How can you tell if you have a dragon in your bathroom?… — Greg Farshtey Copy Share Image
There is a joke that I use all the time. I say it to my kids. I used to say it to… — Stanley Tucci Copy Share Image
I think that every show on television has its place. I think Married With Children or, I don't know, The Nanny... some… — Peter Krause Copy Share Image
I'm not making fun of it because I want to make fun of it. I'm making fun of it so I feel… — Pete Davidson Copy Share Image
Many old music hall fans were present at the funeral today of Fred 'Chuckles' Jenkins, Britain's oldest and unfunniest comedian. In tribute,… — Ronnie Barker Copy Share Image
When I first became famous in the United Kingdom it was helpful because it meant there wasn't a spite of 'this bloke's… — Russell Brand Copy Share Image
A great many people (not you) do now seem to think that the mere state of being worried is in itself meritorious.… — C. S. Lewis Copy Share Image
My stand-up has always been very character-based. I'm not really the kind of person that's like, 'Hey, here's what's on my mind!… — Mary Lynn Rajskub Copy Share Image
I was worried on a personal level because I wanted to be slightly taller than I am, ideally. But I've now accepted… — Daniel Radcliffe Copy Share Image
Laughter is something we have against oppression and oppressive people. Dictators hate people who laugh at them. It's easy for them to… — Burhan Sonmez Copy Share Image
I started to make harder jokes before anyone else did. And the producers would get anxious. They'd say, 'That's a little bit… — John Cleese Copy Share Image
I cut my teeth playing rock songs on the accordion when I was a teenager and my friends always thought that was… — Al Yankovic Copy Share Image
I used to watch 'Coming to America' every day after school. I have full-on long-running inside jokes with friends and family about… — Gabourey Sidibe Copy Share Image
There are things you do when you're writing that are so fun to do it's almost like they're private jokes that are… — Chad Harbach Copy Share Image
One of my favorite titles of an art piece is "Première Communion de Jeunes Filles Chlorotiques Par Un Temps De Neige" or… — Matthea Harvey Copy Share Image
There are certain sorts of jokes which have only to do with the substitution of the unexpected word in a familiar context.… — Tom Stoppard Copy Share Image
Star Wars film is breaking all previous box office records. (Why might we want to revisit those characters, that narrative, those jokes… — Laura Mullen Copy Share Image
When I was younger, I listened to the greats: Winters, Mel and Carl, Nichols and May, Pryor, Carlin, Klein, Berman and lots… — Richard Lewis Copy Share Image
Celebrating the holidays in the White House over these past eight years has been a true privilege. We've been able to welcome… — Michelle Obama Copy Share Image
[J.F Kennedy] was a congressman and a senator and he would go on to be president. I had that idea as a… — Mike Pence Copy Share Image
Not that I don't think irreverent humor and someone being filthy is funny, I just do what I do. Any comedian would… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Occasionally you get that one person that says "I really like that one part of this joke" and you go, "Oh thank… — John Mulaney Copy Share Image
It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must… — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
It's very interesting, the joke comes first and then the wording comes within five seconds, maybe ten seconds. My thing is to… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I kind of joke with myself that you shouldn't be able to be a creative producer if you weren't a first AD.… — Bruce Cohen Copy Share Image
As an actor, you can really play the intensity and gravity and seriousness of the moment, and just rely on the circumstances… — Ed Helms Copy Share Image
Sir Joh Bjelke-Petersen has been the Queensland premier the whole time we've been in Australia, and the state is a national joke… — Nick Earls Copy Share Image
There are a lot of comedic actors who are just out to be the funny one and get all the laughs and… — Jake M. Johnson Copy Share Image
Now, some people do this for shock value. Shock is just another uptown word for surprise. Granted it has a different quality… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I used to joke that one of the reasons there was a lack of classical work on my CV was because I… — Bill Nighy Copy Share Image
I call my backup singers my sister wives. To me, they are my best friends. We are all super close. It's kind… — Alex Winston Copy Share Image
There is plenty of time for Republicans to have a Macaca moment. But right now, as of October 17, 2014, the Republican… — Matthew Continetti Copy Share Image
I’m assuming you’re as mystified by this as the rest of us, Rasputin. No. I’m not. I have been planning to destroy… — Joss Whedon Copy Share Image
Fashion has become a joke. The designers have forgotten that there are women inside the dresses. Most women dress for men and… — Coco Chanel Copy Share Image
I can do jokes sometimes where I feel like I'm being mean to a person - it's not like they're there -… — Nate Bargatze Copy Share Image
I lose faith every time I have to start a new page, and this is no joke. I've occasionally been criticized over… — Chris Ware Copy Share Image
The only really good vegetable is Tabasco sauce. Put Tabasco sauce in everything. Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
America sometimes resembles, at least from the point of view of a black man, an exceedingly monotonous minstrel show; the same dances,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think it's a slightly crazy time actually, it's very difficult to satirise because each of politicians is in their own way… — Armando Iannucci Copy Share Image
It's when I make a joke about Indian people and then a white person comes up to me and says, "That's wrong.… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
![“Celebrating the holidays in the White House over these past eight years has been a true privilege. We've been able to welcome over half a million guests... our outstanding pastry chefs have baked 200,000 holiday cookies... and Barack [Obama] has treated the American people to countless dad jokes.” quote by Michelle Obama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a4a/michelle-obama-518_able_celebrating-the-holidays-in-the-white-ho_1473563.jpg)
![“[J.F Kennedy] was a congressman and a senator and he would go on to be president. I had that idea as a little boy, and I used to joke to people but nobody told me that his father was ambassador to England and that he was a war hero, and he was, you know.” quote by Mike Pence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/887/mike-pence-577_ambassadors_j-f-kennedy-was-a-congressman-and-a-sena_516080.jpg)
![“I’m assuming you’re as mystified by this as the rest of us, Rasputin. No. I’m not. I have been planning to destroy the Breakworld since I was a child. [silence] This is why I don’t make so many jokes. I never know when is good.” quote by Joss Whedon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c14/joss-whedon-480_assuming_i-m-assuming-you-re-as-mystified-by-this_196955.png)
