I am so pathetic with machines in real life, it's not a joke. I'd rather walk, or even run, than take the… — Bipasha Basu Copy Share Image
Working with Chaplin was very amusing and strange. His films are so funny, but working with him, I found him to be… — Tippi Hedren Copy Share Image
My parents left Iran in 1979 and moved to France and then moved to the U.S. My brother was born in France… — Rostam Batmanglij Copy Share Image
When someone new comes on and has their first nude scene - and even if it's not full nudity - it's always… — Deborah Ann Woll Copy Share Image
I told a joke and people laughed and it was the best feeling. I knew I wanted to do this as a… — Chris Tucker Copy Share Image
"You two would make a cute couple," she says as she passes by with a full dough tray in her arms. I… — A.S. King Copy Share Image
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was and always will be yours. If it never returns,… — Babloo Copy Share Image
Octavia Spencer rocks. But just as a human being, she's so down-to-earth. Talk about being pleasantly surprised. You walk onto set, and… — Ciara Bravo Copy Share Image
It happened: the first 9/11, it happened on September 11, 1973, in Chile. We did it. Was that interfering or hacking a… — Noam Chomsky Copy Share Image
And what if we’d been utterly open? Made jokes about the first wife? What if we’d been that kind of family? Well,… — Sue Miller Copy Share Image
I came across an old story of mine that I'd written a decade ago. The main joke of the story is that… — Alexander Weinstein Copy Share Image
I don't like my wrestling or entertainment in general to be too clean or predictable for me as a fan. When I… — Dean Ambrose Copy Share Image
I guess Trump is joke-worthy more than ever because he's the president. I think Donald Trump being president is more about where… — Michael Che Copy Share Image
I have never fit into this town, this marriage, this skin. I am the child who was picked last to play tag;… — Jodi Picoult Copy Share Image
When I started in television, it was brand new. It was the miracle over in the corner of your room. Now the… — Betty White Copy Share Image
In my Dream +ME, I asked GOD why I have to be a good person? Is everyone don't do good to me.… — Hourbebe Copy Share Image
This is a funny story. We'd asked the guards every day for cappuccino. You know, just as a joke. And they'd come… — Martha Stewart Copy Share Image
I would have done well as a gypsy child, I think. A circus baby. I coulda played a great street urchin or… — Natasha Lyonne Copy Share Image
Brad Pitt is great fun. He jokes around all the time and has a real quality about him. On set the director… — Jason Flemyng Copy Share Image
teenagers are never joking. when seeking to prove a point, principals and teachers should remember that teenagers are never, ever sarcasic or… — David Levithan Copy Share Image
I was always pretty broad. I've had a couple bad experiences. One time, I showed up late for a gig in Brooklyn… — Nick Swardson Copy Share Image
“Well, what, what new thing can they say to me that I don't know myself? And is that the point? The point… — Fyodor Dostoyevsky Copy Share Image
“What’s wrong?” Billy’s question had me looking up. My second-oldest brother was already dressed for work in his suit and tie. “And shouldn’t you be fishing with Hank?”… — Penny Reid Copy Share Image
On a spiritual level, on a place where you want to be a better human being and listen more, I try. I… — Jake Gyllenhaal Copy Share Image
When I worked with Chevy Chase, Michael Ritchie would say, "Just ad lib and try to break me up. Just insult me.… — Tim Matheson Copy Share Image
It's a great historical joke that when the Spanish met the Aztecs, it was a blind date made in serve-you-right heaven. At… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
Whereupon a strange euphoria came over me. Not only was I exiled, paralyzed, mute, half deaf, deprived of all pleasures, and reduced… — Jean-Dominique Bauby Copy Share Image
One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come… — Jokes4all Copy Share Image
It’s the strangest thing about this church - it is obsessed with sex, absolutely obsessed. Now they will say we, with our… — Stephen Fry Copy Share Image
My grandfather used to say 'Eat the biggest crabs first, that way you're always eating the biggest crabs.' In making a TV… — Jonathan Groff Copy Share Image
“The things about which we most often jest are generally, on the contrary, the things that worry us but that we do… — Marcel Proust Copy Share Image
“The historian Meike Wöhlert has analyzed and compared the judgments rendered by courts responsible for malicious acts of treason in five cities.… — Rudolph Herzog Copy Share Image
Even when there's not a joke or a hook, the first line has to be good and snapem to attention. Songs ain't… — Dan Bern Copy Share Image
Jokes often arise involuntarily, like dreams, and tend to be swiftly forgotten. From these similarities Freud inferred that jokes and dreams share… — Jim Holt Copy Share Image
“Comrades, we are going to try to cheer you up, and our sense of humor will help us in this endeavor, although… — Rudolph Herzog Copy Share Image
I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done You can tune me out, you can click me… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
The humanists' replacement for religion: work really hard and somehow you'll either save yourself or you'll be immortal. Of course, that's a… — David Bowie Copy Share Image
A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We're weird guys. I don't know if a lot of people get our humor. A lot of people probably think we're jerks.… — Brendon Urie Copy Share Image
The good thing about being in advertising was a lot of the skills cross over: you have to be accountable for your… — Victor Levin Copy Share Image
