[There's] a joke that I've done forever: 'Nowadays they say that the largest majority of people will be Latino and you'll tell… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
Small Man can be a very funny or a very tiresome Tour Companion, depending on how this kind of thing grabs you.… — Diana Wynne Jones Copy Share Image
The movie studios, they only like to make - I make a joke, but it's true - if the movie has the… — Rob Reiner Copy Share Image
“I was thinking we could get a picture of you holding a pitchfork or something. Maybe a big wooden cross? Sound good?"(Brian)… — Stacia Kane Copy Share Image
Have you heard about the morning after pill, or what I like to call breakfast in bed. Well have you heard about… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
He was the class clown, the court jester, because he'd learn early that if you cracked jokes and pretended you weren't scared,… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
Be prepared to cut your little extra lines that come after a big punchline and move on to the next joke or… — Franklyn Ajaye Copy Share Image
Who could quarrel with Clark Gable? We got on well. Whenever anyone on the set was tired or depressed, it was Gable… — Vivien Leigh Copy Share Image
I live right next to a grocery store and I don't know if it's the bachelor in me, but I just go… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I remember thinking as I was doing the jokes for the first time, "If I can hear that very clearly, I'm not… — Seth Rogen Copy Share Image
Son asks his father: Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there? Father answers: Well son, there's three kinds of breasts. In… — Sharlene05 Copy Share Image
I got this big fear of doing smoking jokes in my act and showing up five years from now goin' [puts mic… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Comedy can be silly and gross and offensive, as long as there's sort of a point. You can make a joke that,… — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
Even when I was on Curb Your Enthusiasm I wasn't this "over-the-top" crazy character. It was still kind of play it straight… — Mekhi Phifer Copy Share Image
I think you can be politically incorrect, but there's some responsibility with that. You've got to make sure that you are not… — Sacha Baron Cohen Copy Share Image
An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I know it's the comedian's instinct to say, "Do it, man, nothing's off-limits! It's cool, bro!" I don't know if that's the… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
Science, the largest religion of the twentieth century, had become tarnished by images of exploding space shuttles, crack babies, and a generation… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
Spurious prudence, making the senses final, is the god of sots and cowards, and is the subject of all comedy. It is… — Ralph Waldo Emerson Copy Share Image
For April Fools Day, someone played a really cruel joke on me. They stole ALL my mirrors and I had to go… — James Franco Copy Share Image
No wonder we cannot appreciate the really central Kafka joke: that the horrific struggle to establish a human self results in a… — David Foster Wallace Copy Share Image
Clive [Oppenheimer] and I figured out that I'm the only one probably in the film industry who is clinically sane. I say… — Werner Herzog Copy Share Image
Sometimes I feel that I am destined always to be offstage whenever the main action occurs. That God has made me the… — Jonathan Coe Copy Share Image
I don't have to change anything. I think that's the secret to comedy. You want to be universal and appeal to everyone.… — Kevin Hart Copy Share Image
There's a wonderful old Italian joke about a poor man who goes to church every day and prays before the statue of… — Elizabeth Gilbert Copy Share Image
I was interested in all kinds of things, whether it be Avatar, Mad Men, Troy, 300, Battlestar Gallactica, or the poems of… — Daniel Mendelsohn Copy Share Image
I knew I just loved comedy, and I think it was my parents who initially brought up the notion of me trying… — Seth Rogen Copy Share Image
Most of us have participated in the trust exercise in which one person falls back and is caught by a peer. Even… — Rafe Esquith Copy Share Image
Self-indulgence takes many forms. A man may be self-indulgent in speech, in touch, in sight. From self-indulgence a man comes to idle… — Dorotheus of Gaza Copy Share Image
I remember a long, long day of filming and it took forever to get Kirk Douglas up on his cross. We played… — Jean Simmons Copy Share Image
Even if you get a joke right you've done it a thousand times and sometimes there's times where it just doesn't work… — Godfrey Copy Share Image
Jokes apart, people are constantly asking me, 'What are you doing for the industry?' When one makes a blockbuster, you plough back… — Rohit Shetty Copy Share Image
I detest jokes - when somebody tells me one, I feel my IQ dropping; the brain cells start to disappear. But something… — Johnny Depp Copy Share Image
What a vast fraternity it is,--that of 'Hearts that Ache.' For the last three months it has seemed to me as though… — Henry Adams Copy Share Image
You are just jealous," Magnus remarked calmly. "Because you do not have the soul of a true artiste like myself." "Oh, I… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
I feel like I'm a compassionate guy, but I also feel if somebody's grip on life or sanity is so tenuous that… — Dan Savage Copy Share Image
I started to make a joke that I had an imaginary friend underneath the let-out couch named Binky. I would never talk… — Keke Palmer Copy Share Image
It's always been the same for me. I've always enjoyed acting, and I really love good actors; they're such unique characters. I… — Val Kilmer Copy Share Image
I was one of those kids who liked a lot of attention. I was always the kid in class who'd be telling… — Lauren Worsham Copy Share Image
What are you reading?" Owen asks. "Charlotte's Web," Liz says. "It's really sad. One of the main characters just died." "You ought… — Gabrielle Zevin Copy Share Image
![“[There's] a joke that I've done forever: 'Nowadays they say that the largest majority of people will be Latino and you'll tell scary stories to your grandkids: "A long time ago when I was growing up, there used to be people who were white," and the kid says, "Really?" and you say, "Yeah, like the…” quote by George Lopez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f96/george-lopez-3932_cutting_there-s-a-joke-that-i-ve-done-forever-no_1664664.jpg)
![“I got this big fear of doing smoking jokes in my act and showing up five years from now goin' [puts mic to his neck and speaks as if he had a mechanical larynx] 'good evening everybody, remember me, smoking's bad. [puts cigarette to neck and mimics smoking it] Eeww. You ever seen somebody do that?…” quote by Bill Hicks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8be/bill-hicks-970_bigs_i-got-this-big-fear-of-doing-smoking-jok_612628.jpg)
![“Clive [Oppenheimer] and I figured out that I'm the only one probably in the film industry who is clinically sane. I say that as a joke, but there's a grain of truth to it. I'm not a stupid daredevil who jumps into the crater of the volcano to get the closest close-up, I'm not one of those. And you…” quote by Werner Herzog](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e24/werner-herzog-964_closest_clive-oppenheimer-and-i-figured-out-that_2885607.jpg)
