I'd been shy since childhood, constantly full of self-doubt. And as an actor, I'd been so scared of failing that I made… — Emily Mortimer Copy Share Image
Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I don't wear much makeup, except during work. I felt lucky to be chosen to be a model. I used to joke,… — Isabella Rossellini Copy Share Image
A lot of times, you could play me just the laughs from my set, and I could tell you, from the laugh,… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I love musical theater so much. When done right, I think comedy songs can be the most efficient form of joke delivery.… — Rachel Bloom Copy Share Image
What I usually do is tell funny stories from the road, many of which are, of course, unprintable. But I don't actually… — Howard Dean Copy Share Image
'Pyaar Ka Punchnama' was mainly a boys' film; we girls were just a catalyst. We would set up a situation for them… — Nushrat Bharucha Copy Share Image
The thing with the comedian is you can make all the jokes you want and not every joke it going to be… — Bianca Del Rio Copy Share Image
In the end, perhaps we should simply imagine a joke; a long joke that's continually retold in an accent too thick and… — Tom Robbins Copy Share Image
I can pretty much guarantee that if I do a show in a comedy club, there will be someone who will come… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I've definitely gotten to a place of complete surrealism where I feel like I'm living in 'The Truman Show' or something and… — Noah Kahan Copy Share Image
Sometimes an actor will stumble on the joke, and I'm right on them. Back it up before the audience hears the bad… — James Burrows Copy Share Image
I'm the type of guy that's always having a joke, messing around, but when it comes to the serious stuff, you know,… — Jesse Lingard Copy Share Image
Feeling like you were a joke to your partner of nine years... is devastating, but I want to show other women that… — Ariana Madix Copy Share Image
I have a lot of glass in my house, and I remember saying as a joke once that I clean my stuff… — Courteney Cox Copy Share Image
“We come from nothing, we go back into nothing. That nothing is something, that something is everything. That everything is the cosmos.… — Gian Kumar Copy Share Image
You can either just have fun with the joke or you can have fun with the joke and think about the implication… — Reggie Watts Copy Share Image
Sometimes in the studio movies I've been working in, you'll put a joke in a movie because the crowd loves it -… — David Gordon Green Copy Share Image
We honestly shouldn't be paying attention to nothing Kanye West says until he actually goes out there and gets the help we… — Charlamagne tha God Copy Share Image
“You can't deal with being odd? ... Become like them... Become drug delear... Live their lifes... have fun ... and be honest...” — Deyth Banger Copy Share Image
If you're not going to give a smile, you can not, some lukewarm, if it is not possible to hear a joke!… — Mak_786 Copy Share Image
There was an April Fool's thing that I totally fell for which was this kit were you could grow grass on your… — Alana Haim Copy Share Image
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical,… — Alan King Copy Share Image
“Unbeknown to us, some of the people who we hope are missing us wherever they are do miss us; some miss someone… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
My biggest superhero of writing is Jorge Luis Borges, the Argentine fabulist. He's an amazingly perceptive writer, but also willing to make… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I think so much of kids' television, kids' entertainment, is done by adults from a looking-back point of view. If we come… — Dan Schneider Copy Share Image
There is a tragic kind of joke. You really can't keep a man down - good but often otherwise - because history's… — Wesley Morris Copy Share Image
It doesn't mean you can't discuss important things, but I would never do a joke about cancer, just because I don't think… — Jon Richardson Copy Share Image
There's been lots of theater that uses hip-hop in it, but more often than not, it's used as a joke - isn't… — Lin-Manuel Miranda Copy Share Image
I remember when I first walked into an American locker room, and no one had ever seen a 130-pound wrestler before. Those… — Rey Mysterio Copy Share Image
“Once you even acknowledge that there is a line, that there are things you shouldn’t be allowed to joke about, that there… — Al Franken Copy Share Image
If mini skirts today get any shorter... women will have two more lips to paint, two more cheeks to powder, and a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Donald Trump has been saying that he will run for president as a Republican, which is surprising since I just assumed he… — Seth Meyers Copy Share Image
On 'Adam Ruins Everything' we do the broadest sketch comedy possible. We do stuff where you can see it immediately and know… — Adam Conover Copy Share Image
A Catholic priest, a Jewish rabbi, and a Muslim mullah all walk into a bar, and the bartender says: - What is… — C. S. Lewis Copy Share Image
I didn't know if I could be funny on stage or write a joke. But I saw that there are no rules.… — Kumail Nanjiani Copy Share Image
Stewardesses were a joke to many of us coming of age in the liberated Sixties. They were no joke in the women's… — Cathleen Schine Copy Share Image
The opening scene in A New Hope, when you see the huge ship, it goes on, and on, and on, and on,… — Cass Sunstein Copy Share Image
You can't wait forever for an audience to get the joke, but you should give them at least two seconds to join… — Franklyn Ajaye Copy Share Image
“The great joke is that the next time is never like the last time, and yet we can’t help readying ourselves for… — Peter Lynch Copy Share Image
