Howard Stern

“Look at you.”

— Howard Stern

I'm the voice of honesty.

— Howard Stern

I believe in censorship when it benefits me.

— Howard Stern

I don't talk about my salary.

— Howard Stern

I am completely pissed off that I'm circumcised.

— Howard Stern

Mike Walker is the Hemingway of gossip.

— Howard Stern

I'm not looking for a paycheck.

— Howard Stern

It's no treat being in bed with me.

— Howard Stern

Don't let the government win.

— Howard Stern

I feel blessed, I really feel fulfilled.

— Howard Stern

There are a lot of so-called "good Americans" who are really a bunch of bums.

— Howard Stern

My show was revolutionary, ground-breaking. When I came on the scene, people were not doing a thing.

— Howard Stern

I think I could create a cult, no problem. The hard part is getting people to kill themselves.

— Howard Stern

I don't like being 50 and I don't like thinking about death.

— Howard Stern

I believe I am doing the work for humanity. This show is so uplifting.

— Howard Stern

You can overthrow a country now with your phone. How cool is that?-Ralph Cirella thought on a friday night.

— Howard Stern

I think I'm probably a little too desperate to be successful.

— Howard Stern

I'm going to take over the world. Everyone watch out, you're in big trouble.

— Howard Stern

I'm trapped inside of me and I don't go out at all. I go to bed at eight o'clock at night. I…

— Howard Stern

I'm at a point in my career, I've been around a long time now, over 35 years in broadcasting. I don't worry…

— Howard Stern

I still feel like I gotta prove something. There are a lot of people hoping I fail. But I like that. I…

— Howard Stern

It is pretty shocking that governmental interference into our rights and free speech takes place in the U.S…It's hard to reconcile this…

— Howard Stern

I dont like to go out. I dont like to leave the house. I like to stay home, but Im fascinated by…

— Howard Stern

They've come up with some sort of fine or something, or some sort of 'Notice of Apparent Liability.' They're after me again...I…

— Howard Stern

You have to make a decision, what you want to do in life, ... Your deal can be, you can leave tomorrow.…

— Howard Stern

I'm a parent, and I regulate what my kids listen to. I don't need the government to be the parent. If I'm…

— Howard Stern

I don't think any religion makes any sense and I think people who are into that are really getting duped, and I…

— Howard Stern

I'm sickened by all religions. Religion has divided people. I don't think there's any difference between the pope wearing a large hat…

— Howard Stern

These nutbags, like Santorum and Bachmann, who make these people and especially young gay kids feel miserable, shame on them. They're quacks.…

— Howard Stern

I'm for legalizing marijuana. Why pick on those drugs? Valium is legal. You just go to a doctor and get it and…

— Howard Stern

And rather than hide that, I would rather put that out on the radio and let someone see the full range of…

— Howard Stern

Set about doing good to somebody. Put on your hat and go and visit the sick and poor of your neighborhood; inquire…

— Howard Stern

I've actually apologized to some people I was a real jerk to, because I feel ashamed. I didn't need to be that…

— Howard Stern

I was told David Letterman and Kaufman had heart attacks on the same day: David Letterman's heart attack was at a hospital…

— Howard Stern

I'm down with just the Backstreet Boys.

— Howard Stern

I've come to appreciate other people's talents.

— Howard Stern

I'm in a war, a cultural war.

— Howard Stern

Rick Shapiro is a top comedian.

— Howard Stern

What a crazy idea to put me on a family show!

— Howard Stern

I will never vote Democrat again, they are Communists.

— Howard Stern