I like when people are trapped in the joke, when there's no escape. I like to lead people down the wrong path… — Paul Mooney Copy Share Image
People have been known to joke that my lifelong love of portal fantasies was born, at least in part, from the fact… — Seanan McGuire Copy Share Image
“And you think, “I wish God was my boss. That would be awesome. He wouldn’t care about my sales sheet. He would… — Jon Acuff Copy Share Image
My favorite show tune has got to be Stephen Sondheim's 'I Remember Sky.' It's probably the saddest song of all time; I… — Laura Benanti Copy Share Image
I've had times where I've joked, like, 'I'm going to move to Vermont and become a painter.' And sometimes that joke felt… — Kate Micucci Copy Share Image
In fact during 'Rock On,' there were so many women on set that sometimes we used to joke that if this becomes… — Prachi Desai Copy Share Image
Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
Written by the ancient Chinese philosopher of the same name, the 'Zhuangzi' is one long perplexing puzzle of a rambling collection of… — Patrick Stump Copy Share Image
When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a civil engineer. No joke. I would come home from school and… — Bitsie Tulloch Copy Share Image
I know what's funny, and I probably know the best way to deliver the joke. Whether it's walking out of a room,… — James Burrows Copy Share Image
“Naturally Teseo had a joke about all the government promises to increase housing construction: “If there were no future tense in Spanish,… — Regina Anavy Copy Share Image
“Okay. I guess I’m just having a little trouble getting this all straight.”“It’s not ‘straight’ -- it’s gay. That’s why you’re having… — Bobby Michaels Copy Share Image
It has always seemed a cruel joke to me that the very word 'stutter' is difficult for many stutterers to pronounce. It… — Kate Forsyth Copy Share Image
The war on drugs is a joke. We spend $40 billion a year, and the proof that it's a failure is that… — David Sheff Copy Share Image
I used to joke that my next book would be about puppies that have lost a chew toy, and everywhere they went,… — Don Winslow Copy Share Image
When I first broke out, everyone was like, 'OK, so is this a joke?' They had to wait until I sold out… — Yung Lean Copy Share Image
It's fun to deliver material on live TV because it's more off-the-cuff, but I like writing better. You really can measure the… — Willie Geist Copy Share Image
There can be a science to joke writing, there are certainly rules and patterns that can be followed, but I think most… — Robin Ince Copy Share Image
“But I actually did change Mary-Kate’s and Ashley’s diapers once. And that was four years ago. Ashley came up with the punch… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
As I grow older, I become more and more of a Marxist - Groucho, that is. When you have lived two-thirds of… — Karen DeCrow Copy Share Image
“When were you born?" "Huh?" She scrunched up her nose at the sudden change in topic. "Your sign?" He insisted. She thought… — Joannah Miley Copy Share Image
(Tosting by an illiterate)..Hello baby whats your name is ? (Baby)..am Juliet N U? (illiterate)..plz be call me Wizguy.(illiterate)...baby can we be… — Juniorjk Copy Share Image
“You are more likely to find three TVs inside a randomly selected house than you are to find a single book that… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I used to joke that, since breastfeeding, my boobs looked like an old athletic sock with some loose change at the bottom,… — Jessica St. Clair Copy Share Image
Contrary to reports, this boy is not a billionaire or going to be richer than any Beatle... and not just in the… — Bono Copy Share Image
“Oh, God, oh, God. A sense of humor. She’d thought the hardly-even-a-hint she’d caught of it a while back had been a… — Susan Andersen Copy Share Image
When people come in to act on the show, we say, "Just be extremely dry and not funny. Let the idea be… — Tim Heidecker Copy Share Image
I like to say, Chop sueys the biggest culinary joke that one culture has ever played on another, because chop suey, if… — Jennifer Lee Copy Share Image
Chemar Holder plays Xbox with me online all the time but it's not like any of us are going to be buddy,… — Jofra Archer Copy Share Image
I have a really analytical approach to art. And the whole idea that you can't analyze what makes a joke funny...I do… — David Rees Copy Share Image
“You should write a book," Matrick suggested. Kit snorted. "Who wants to read the self-pitying lamentations of an old revenant?" "There's your… — Nicholas Eames Copy Share Image
I voted for Ralph Nader in 2000, but I will not make that mistake again. The joke is over for Nader. He… — Hunter S. Thompson Copy Share Image
It's important to remember that life is a joke, and that outlook grants a lot of perspective, but I don't think comedy… — John Mulaney Copy Share Image
“You need to look the fucking sick joke that is life straight in the eye and tell it to bring its fucking… — Mia Asher Copy Share Image
With anything you put out there, you're going to offend somebody, but most people get that it's a joke, that I'm playing… — Trevor Moore Copy Share Image
I remember as a boy when the conversation on civil rights was won in the South. I remember a time when one… — Al Gore Copy Share Image
There's an old joke that you know you're in heaven if the cooks are Italian and the engineering is German. If it's… — David Byrne Copy Share Image
“It was late when father and the Duke tracked me down feigning surprise that I was in the usual place every time… — Shattered Roses E L Parfitt Copy Share Image
Because Buffy really has become the straight man, every once in a while it's nice to be the one that tells the… — Sarah Michelle Gellar Copy Share Image
It's easy to say, 'This is just a joke.' You know, the bearded lady? And I feel the need to smash it… — Conchita Wurst Copy Share Image
