“I wish the world had been made in six days, and knocked to pieces again in six more. And I wish I… — G.K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
The media circus got a bit twisted when I was in London. It became a bit of a joke, really. In Paris,… — Pete Doherty Copy Share Image
I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think; there's the truth.' I try to think of… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
You get sick of jokes, you know. Either I do them on TV, and then you worry, like, "Oh, everyone's gonna see… — Dave Chappelle Copy Share Image
“You need to look the fucking sick joke that is life straight in the eye and tell it to bring its fucking… — Mia Asher Copy Share Image
With anything you put out there, you're going to offend somebody, but most people get that it's a joke, that I'm playing… — Trevor Moore Copy Share Image
I remember as a boy when the conversation on civil rights was won in the South. I remember a time when one… — Al Gore Copy Share Image
There's an old joke that you know you're in heaven if the cooks are Italian and the engineering is German. If it's… — David Byrne Copy Share Image
You get used to such micro-aggressions, those sneaky remarks. Especially in comedy: when the mood is meant to be light you can… — Rose Matafeo Copy Share Image
“Finding out that you are not your lover’s only lover hurts, but not as much as discovering that you are the side… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Everything was meant to wind people up [in Make It Big ]. I don't know why we had this great pleasure in… — George Michael Copy Share Image
I think it's really important to be kind, especially to people whose lives are grim - I try hard to cheer people… — Jo Brand Copy Share Image
“We are sometimes depressed by our failure to convince people who strongly believe that we are that we are definitely not depressed.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Once you start thinking about it in a mercenary frame of mind, then you're finished. You're a joke, because there are too… — Tommy Shaw Copy Share Image
I don't really do anything unless it's from the heart - I don't like to joke on people, or distract them from… — Lil B Copy Share Image
The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
“Thanks for turning off the lights... and so far... it's your problem, you are getting in trouble... it's not me... so far… — Deyth Banger Copy Share Image
“He wrote, You're being crazy. You're going to catch a cold. I already have a cold. You are going to catch a… — Jonathan Safran Foer Copy Share Image
For the better part of the first year in college, I didn't understand a single joke. For the better part of the… — Jon Rahm Copy Share Image
I think my ability to joke and laugh about things is because I'm forced to. I've been through a lot of things… — Jonathan Van Ness Copy Share Image
There has to be irony, both in design and in the objects. I see around me a professional disease of taking everything… — Achille Castiglioni Copy Share Image
“Everyone born is on the field of life’s game, but not everyone does wear the jersey of vision! Some people are fair… — Israelmore Ayivor Copy Share Image
People feel like using the word 'joke' removes responsibility for the hurt their words may cause. It doesn't; in fact, it may… — Franchesca Ramsey Copy Share Image
Some people think a boxer is a gloomy guy with this heavy brow who always has to be serious. But why can't… — Oleksandr Usyk Copy Share Image
“I realized how badly I wanted to make a joke to Dex about it. We had been the Ghostbusters. Now there was… — Karina Halle Copy Share Image
“A joke’s funny, right? That wasn’t. It’s perfectly okay for a woman to have a sexual appetite, to take the lead now… — Shani Struthers Copy Share Image
“There comes a time when the heaping up of calamities brings on uncontrollable nervous laughter - when, after a final blow from… — Jean-Dominique Bauby Copy Share Image
If you're showing people where it's smooth sailing, where is the joke? If you go back to any movie, even a conventional… — Christopher Guest Copy Share Image
My friends are people who like building cool stuff. We always have this joke about people who want to just start companies… — Mark Zuckerberg Copy Share Image
When you become fluent with language, it means you can write an entry in your journal or tell a joke to someone… — Mitchel Resnick Copy Share Image
“Many obese people spend a significant amount of their energy on suppressing the urge to tell some of the people who are… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke,… — Carol Burnett Copy Share Image
I joke to people in the press that I realize I'm not black, I'm actually white. But I've got these roots in… — Glenn Hughes Copy Share Image
People talk, 'Oh your father's a misogynist, look what he said about women,' like, on 'Howard Stern.' When he gets with Howard… — Donald Trump, Jr Copy Share Image
The joke I wanted to put into one of the promos for this new season, was to have a guy come up… — Tony Danza Copy Share Image
Dealing with in-laws is like walking down a dark hallway with a bucket of industrial-strength glue sitting in the shadows. If you're… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I don’t even pretend to believe I know everything; I just believe in arguments God told me I had a pretty good… — Shannon L. Alder Copy Share Image
She can be Mary Poppins but she can also be - I would never use the word 'crude' in the same sentence… — Nicholas Hammond Copy Share Image
There's a joke in economics about the drunk who loses his keys in the street but only looks for them under the… — Christina Romer Copy Share Image
As a kid, I drew comics. I had curly hair. I liked to joke, but I was kind of nervous about it… — Thomas Middleditch Copy Share Image