On Twitter, when someone would die, I would write a joke. Or if there's a tragedy, I would write a joke and… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
The joke I always make is I'm either running for reelection, running for Senate, running for governor, or running for my life.… — Cory Booker Copy Share Image
“Your relationship or marriage is dead or dying, if you almost always have to remind your partner to miss you (and/or they… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I always loved jokes. It's such a dumb, facile thing to say, but it's true. I remember being a kid and getting… — Josh Gondelman Copy Share Image
That whole 'Bo' Selecta!' thing was damaging. I played along with it; I said it was cool, I can take a joke,… — Craig David Copy Share Image
I think there's a lot of wonderful comics that leave you hanging in a state of apprehension or anxiety before alleviating that… — Carrie Brownstein Copy Share Image
I don't try to impress people. Sometimes my jokes can be very harsh; I'm very sarcastic. I would joke about something disgusting,… — Barbara Palvin Copy Share Image
A dirty joke is not, of course, a serious attack on morality, but it is a sort of mental rebellion, a momentary… — George Orwell Copy Share Image
It's when I make a joke about Indian people and then a white person comes up to me and says, "That's wrong.… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
You can tell on-stage when a joke's starting to lose its pop. It doesn't mean people don't want to hear it anymore;… — Ron White Copy Share Image
Shaquille and I kind of joke we were the Christopher Columbus of social media. We're kind of out on a boat by… — Amy Jo Martin Copy Share Image
Now, some people do this for shock value. Shock is just another uptown word for surprise. Granted it has a different quality… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When a joke works, it works. It can make a point in a really simple way; it can be a great little… — Jon Lovett Copy Share Image
“You guys like to tell jokes and giggle and kid around, huh? Giggling like a bunch of young broads in a school… — Quentin Tarantino Copy Share Image
“Breeze chuckled. "He was completely insane, you know. The worse things got, the more he'd joke. I remember how chipper he was… — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
“I am not a joke. I am not a riddle! I am not a bird or a cat or a penguin! I'm… — Tom King Copy Share Image
No-one wants to hear a crude joke at the expense of the Principal, or the Bridegroom, or the head of the company.… — Rachel Parris Copy Share Image
“Joke or not, something is occurring to me. You live your life, and you get to ask for things, and sometimes they… — Elizabeth Berg Copy Share Image
“If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic… — Marcus Brigstocke Copy Share Image
Something horrible happens and I try to make it funny. It's really a tortured life. You go to a salsa bar, at… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
I don't really tell a joke, I react to situations. The whole thing is just looking at somebody and showing all our… — Don Rickles Copy Share Image
I love practical jokes and humor. That there's frankly no joke that I don't think is funny. I love practical jokes, but… — Mitt Romney Copy Share Image
Often women are pitted against each other for an easy joke, so they fight or steal each other's boyfriends. That's not really… — Hannah Simone Copy Share Image
I used to think of it as a joke that all paranoids were right. That was a joke in the '60s, but… — Richard Belzer Copy Share Image
I can joke around and do what I want and be great in my area and play around and be the best,… — Lil B Copy Share Image
Over at the Olivia Pope & Associates set, we're like middle school children. Every time there's a cut in the action, we… — Darby Stanchfield Copy Share Image
“the new Filipino President's name had become a saucy joke: 'Corazon, aqui, no?' That is: 'Darling, let's do it here, eh?' Or,… — Salman Rushdie Copy Share Image
My private joke about 'Luke Cage' is that it's a bulletproof version of 'Lemonade,' and that, essentially, it's a concept album that… — Cheo Hodari Coker Copy Share Image
I like my messiness on stage, though I watch comics who come at a joke from every angle and I think, 'Yeah!… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
If someone wants to make a joke about me smoking too much pot, I'm not going to get mad at them, because… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
Venom was a joke in the '80s, their heavy metal music sucked big time, and I really have no interest in them… — Varg Vikernes Copy Share Image
Me: *laughs* Parents: What's so funny? What's going on? Who are you talking to? Can I see what the joke is? Are… — Celeste Hartman Copy Share Image
The reality is, to watch Jon Stewart, you already have to have watched the news. In other words, it's not funny if… — Roger Ailes Copy Share Image
I think its natural if youre doing a lot of comedy to do a lot of drama, because you have to figure… — Judy Greer Copy Share Image
When you people have a set up joke and the joke is set up straight and the words are just well written,… — Will Gluck Copy Share Image
I use this notepad onstage, mastering the art of not being professional. I'll do a joke that doesn't work on purpose, then… — Deon Cole Copy Share Image
My joke used to be about my father and Peter Boyle: that anything you see Peter Boyle do on TV, my father… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
When a kid can understand that a word can mean two things, there's some real thinking going on. They have a vested… — Brian P. Cleary Copy Share Image
The vast majority of people that have gotten mad at me for a joke that I've made were people that were, A,… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
I wasn't a big Sam Darnold fan after they beat us in the Rose Bowl game my sophomore year, but that's just… — Saquon Barkley Copy Share Image
